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Archives: 2011, July - December

DEC 2011

Cheapskate

money> Madonna brings own wine and glasses to NYC restaurant‎

> Madonna brings her own bottle of wine to New York restaurant‎

> Madonna Refused To Pay For Simpson Letters

Madonna refused to buy letters written by Wallis Simpson as she researched her new movie W.E. - and simply memorised their content instead.

.... Madonna studied various scripts and notes while writing the movie - but she refused to pay for the historical musings.

She tells Britain's Glamour magazine, "I'm sure I've read every book on the Duchess of Windsor. And once people knew I was doing research and writing the script they wanted to sell me their letters.

"I didn't purchase any, but I read them, noted the information and then said thanks, but no thanks. I watched every documentary ever made, and stayed at the house in the south of France that they lived in during the war - it's now owned by (Russian businessman) Roman Abramovich. I tried to go to places that they were at and soak up their energy. Of course, I wasn't allowed in Windsor Castle."

Madonna has worst Christmas song

Madonna's Bad Singing> 11 Christmas songs we hope never to hear again

By Kristin Kalning

9. “Santa Baby,” [by] Madonna – I’ll bet the modern-day Madonna listens to this 1987 version of herself and cringes. I know I do. Perhaps she thought her nasal-voiced, cutsey-pie delivery was sexy, but really, she sounds like a half-in-the-bag bimbo. For sexy, see Kitt, Eartha, or Minogue, Kylie.

Slams and Put Downs - Stinky Perfume

Slams and Put Downs> Madonna's 'Truth Or Dare' Fragrance Sounds Kind Of Ridiculous

Excerpt:

We suppose Madonna is just bored now?

The pop legend announced last month that she was launching a lifestyle brand, to be called Truth Or Dare By Madonna, targeted at women 27-50 and available exclusively at Macy's in 2012.

Truth Or Dare will sell fragrances, accessories, footwear, handbags and intimates -- dare we say, very Jessica Simpson?

Madge just recently sent out some press info about Truth Or Dare's signature fragrance, which will be available in April, and honestly, it's kind of LOL-tastic.

According to the folks at fan site Madonnarama, the launch of Truth or Dare by Madonna will include quite the fanfare, accompanied by "bracelets, earrings, sexy lingerie and a special Dom Perignon champagne bottle with custom made packaging."

And even the press kit for the scent is over-the-top: the site received a package containing "a vase of yellow waterlillies, a gold box, a blindfold designed by Kiki de Montparnasse, and a tiny vial of the scent."

Er... how do you design a blindfold?

Slams and Put Downs - 50 Cent

Slams and Put Downs> 50 Cent Upset Over Madonna Releasing 'Girls Gone Wild' Single

> 50 Cent Takes On Interscope, Yet Again

> 50 Cent Upset Over Madonna Releasing ‘Girls Gone Wild’ Single

> 50 Cent angry with label over new single 'Girls Go Wild' release

Beaten on Charts & Polls / Doesn't Make it to Charts

> Madonna Wants Back In But Lady Gaga Is Forbes Highest-Earning Female Singer

Lady Gaga has topped Forbes this year’s Top Earning Women in Music List and Madonna can’t stand it. Madonna went out of her way to beat out Lady Gaga for the right to perform on the half-time show at the coming Super Bowl.

Madonna hopes to become relevant again as she launches another world tour and new album. Madonna has never had Lady Gaga’s talent and hard as tries, and even though she insists on making a fool of herself with a 24-year-old toyboy, Brahim Zaibat, Madonna is just too old to rock and roll!

According to Forbes.com, Gaga earned more than double of any other female pop stars over the past 12 months, raking in $90 million in 2011.

....The earnings estimates were compiled with the help of data from Pollstar, RIAA and others, as well as extensive interviews with industry insiders including lawyers, managers, concert promoters, agents and, in some cases, the musicians themselves.

The totals encompass all pre-tax income earned from May 2010 to May 2011, before subtracting agent and manager fees.

> Why is Madonna's 'Masterpiece' ineligible for the Best Original Song Oscar?

> Madonna Out, Elton John In: Best Song Contenders for the 2012 Oscar

> Madonna out of tune with Oscars as 'W.E.' song not among 39 eligible

> Lady Gaga and Mary J. Blige Make Oscar’s Cut, but Not Madonna

> Madonna ‘W.E.’ Track “Masterpiece” Snubbed By Oscar For Best Song

> Jennifer Aniston named Sexiest Woman of ALL Time beating out arch-nemesis Angelina Jolie

> Jennifer Aniston Voted Hottest Woman of All Time

> Angie Snub? Jennifer Aniston Crowned Hottest Woman of All Time

> Jennifer Aniston Voted Hottest Woman of All Time

December 9, 2011 AT 1:46PM By Justin Ravitz

Big victory for Team Jen!

Jennifer Aniston beat every single famous lady (past and present) out there in a recent MensHealth.com poll, which anointed her the Hottest Woman of All Time.

At the very top of the list of 100 ladies, the 42-year-old Horrible Bosses star bested Raquel Welch (#2), Marilyn Monroe (#3), Britney Spears (#4) and Madonna (#5). Angelina Jolie -- love to Aniston's ex-husband Brad Pitt -- landed at number 10.

> Jennifer Aniston named hottest woman ever

Slams and Put downs - Super Bowl

Slams and Put Downs> Gene Simmons BLASTS Madonna -- 'Not Appropriate' for Super Bowl

> Gene Simmons slams Madonna over Super Bowl halftime show‎

Just two days after it was confirmed that Madonna will take the center stage in the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show, reality star and fellow performer Gene Simmons has slammed the pop star's participation.

"I love all karaoke singers," a sarcastic Simmons said when a TMZ cameraman brought up the subject of the Super Bowl performance. "I like all the girl singers who get up and sing with tapes. Shame on you."

The KISS frontman then launched into a full rant against any artist who isn't the "real" deal.

"You've got to have some integrity," he said. "I don't care what your music is. Have some integrity -- be real or full disclosure before the fact. Hold up a sign saying, 'Seventy percent of what you hear is fake. It's a tape. I'm a karaoke singer.' Say it!'

After offering some half-hearted praise for the pop icon ("By the way, Madonna's terrific"), Simmons continued his rant, adding that she wasn't "appropriate" for the halftime show.

> Gene Simmons rips the Super Bowl, Madonna, and ... Scotty McCreery?

> What can we expect from Madonna's Super Bowl performance?

Written by David Lindquist

Nikki Reed, an on-air personality at Top 40 radio station WZPL-FM (99.5), said she isn't sure Madonna can snap the streak.

"I'm bored with the idea of Madonna," Reed said. "It's been awhile since she has been this huge figure. I hope that I'm wrong, and I hope that she kills it. That would be an incredible thing for her career."

Review/Observations on 1984 Like A Virgin album

Record> Source (Madonna: An Intimate Biography By J. Randy Taraborrelli)

Though Like A Virgin became Madonna's first Number 1 album (and one of the biggest selling albums of 1985 [note by Flea: Cyndi Lauper's "She's So Unusual" beat Madonna's album in sales, source]), it generated less than enthusiastic reviews ("A tolerable bit of fluff," People magazine observed).

It's true that, today - and especially when compared to Madonna's body of work since that time - the album seems a bit repetitious and immature. Nile Rodgers confesses, "As a fan, it wouldn't be what I consider my favorite Madonna album compositionally."

....Mick Jagger even threw his hat in the ring by commenting that Madonna's songs were characterized by a "central dumbness."

NOV 2011

Madonna Mistaken for a Prostitute

> Backstage with rock photog Regan

By MARIE-JOELLE PARENT, QMI Agency
Last Updated: November 6, 2011 12:00am
Ken Regan anecdotes

Madonna: "I was in Los Angeles to photograph her for the first time for People magazine. It was in her early days in 1985, her first album and the film Desperately Seeking Susan had just come out. I arrived at the Mondrian Hotel, I go up the elevator and this woman comes in, it looked like a lady of the evening, assuming the scene in L.A. I was waiting for her to proposition me, it didn't happen. When Madonna came to my room later on, it was the hooker from the elevator!"

Mariah Vs Madonna

> Diva vs. diva -- a video history of smack talk from Mariah, Madonna, and more: Watch it here

Grandma-donna / Bad Fashion

oldlady> Act your age mum! Lourdes looks fed up as her mother Madonna gyrates with young male dancers in her pants

The Queen of Pop, 53, not only threw on a rather unsuitable outfit for her night out with daughter Lourdes, but she also got down on the dancefloor and gyrated with a younger man at the Smirnoff Exchange dance project at the Roseland Ballroom in New York.

Lourdes, 15, appeared to be fed up as her mother embarked on a mission to let her hair down leaving the teenager looking like she wanted the ground to swallow her up.

Madonna wore a outfit more suited to someone half her age comprised a loose white shirt unbuttoned to the naval and showing off a black leotard dress underneath, both by Dolce & Gabbana, fishnet stockings and knee-high boots.

Slams and Put Downs

Slams and Put Downs> Danny Aiello: Madonna's 'Papa Don't Preach' Video Was 'Crap

> Madonna Gets A Bad Review…25 Years After The Fact‎

by Kelly Lynch

.... Yesterday she [Madonna] got a bad review 25 years after making the music video for “Papa Don’t Preach.”

Danny Aiello, who played Madonan’s father [in the "Papa Don't Preach" music video], told Huffington Post‘s Rob Shuter that the pop icon wasn’t the most gracious of celebrities:

“I had no idea who [Madonna] was, so I said to [daughter] Stacey in passing, ‘They want me to do this music video with this girl named Madonna.’ She said, ‘Dad, Dad, you have to.’ I went back and said I’ll do it if my daughter is permitted on the set taking pictures with Madonna. … Madonna sort of backed up and told her representative that I don’t do that. My daughter has hated her ever since. … I’m a movie actor doing this piece of crap!”

Editorial

Feminism> Ashton, Demi and Younger Men's Inability to Appreciate Older Women

Excerpts:

by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

...But in addition to the legitimate need to hold men responsible for their own actions, there is also a need to encourage women to stop participating in their own degradation and stop reinforcing the notion that women are to be judged by their body and youthfulness alone.

.... Look at people like Madonna who ultimately left the United States when she was raising her children because she claimed American culture had become too vulgar.

But who contributed to that vulgarity? Did Madonna not play a role when she first started to simulate masturbation on MTV? And I'm loathe to bring it up, because in truth she has changed and become more much spiritual and responsible.

But can we really create a culture of men acting like gentlemen -- which they must do under all circumstances without any excuses -- when women don't always believe they should be ladies?

The truth of the matter is that as a woman gets older she becomes sexier.

'Sex' book - trashy AND 'boring, juvenile and amateurish'

> Stumbling on Sex in a Japanese bookstore

By Dave Obee, Times Colonist November 25, 2011

I did not see the book when it was published, but a few weeks ago, I picked up a copy in a store in Japan.

While looking for a washroom I glanced down, saw a cardboard box with the words "Sex by Madonna," and realized that I had possibly struck paydirt. Paydirt in terms of a censored item, at least.

My copy [of Madonna's "Sex" book] is a Japanese printing in great shape - but frankly, it's hard to figure what all the excitement was about. The writing is juvenile, the layout is amateurish, and the photos are, well, boring. Could it be that Sex isn't as thrilling as it used to be?

Lawsuits

Legal Problems> Madonna settles NYC neighbor's suit over noise

Madonna has made peace with a neighbor who said the superstar made a racket by using her apartment as a rehearsal studio, lawyers involved in the matter said Wednesday.

Court records showed Karen George's lawsuit against the singer and their Manhattan building was settled as of Wednesday.

OCT 2011

Slams and Put Downs - Brother Says She's a "B*tch"

Book: Life With My Sister Madonna> Her brother’s homeless, but don’t blame Madonna, sources say

> Madonna's Older Brother Says He's Homeless

> Madonna's brother living homeless under Traverse City bridge‎

> Madonna: Not Her Brother's Keeper

> Madonna's Brother Tells Newspaper: I'm Homeless

> Madonna’s brother homeless and cold in Michigan

> Madonna's frostbitten, homeless brother: 'My family turned their back on me'

> Madonna's Homeless Brother Says His Sister 'Was A b***h Growing Up, Just Like She Is Now

> Madonna Called a 'B----' by Homeless Brother‎

> Madonna's homeless brother lashes out‎

> Madonna's brother calls sister a 'b*tch'

> Madonna, Homeless Brother Bring Out The Boxing Gloves!

> Madonna's Brother: 'She Was A B*tch Growing Up Just Like She Is Now!'

‘I’m proud of my sister," Anthony said. "But it’s been a burden, because I can’t be me; I have to be related to a celebrity. People have their ideas and expectations. My sister’s a multimillionaire but she earned it, I have to give her credit for that.

"But you’d think there’d be some more family loyalty, and that’s not the case. Just to communicate would be nice."

Ciccone has no expectations of that happening.

Growing up together, he said, "she was a b*tch, just like she is now. She remains true to form."

> Addiction, deceit and eight siblings divided by fame... What happened to Madonna and Anthony's other siblings

> Madonna doesn't care if I die: £400m star's brother who's a drunk and living under a bridge reveals why their lives diverged

> Madonna’s homeless bro won't ask for her help

> I’ll NEVER ask my sister Madonna for money... she wants nothing to do with me

Not Airbrushed - Unflattering Leaked Photos

nophotoshopTo the left, you can see a small preview of one of several photos from a 2007 "W" magazine photo shoot that was leaked to a blog.

She looks like a drunken, sleepy, disheveled bag lady in the photos, and there's lots of saggy skin on display.

That blog has since removed all the photos, but they are available in the Vogue Gallery.

Other sites are also carrying the photos, see links below.

I added black blocks on top of the photo to the top left (and the ones in the gallery), since she was wearing a see-through bra.

> Topless Madonna pics leak online‎

> Images of Madonna in black thong and see-through bra surface online‎

> Madonna would like to share with you new and never seen before photos of her hibernating in a dressing room. My boobies are def shrinking and other miseries…

> Topless, dishevelled and unairbrushed: Embarrassment for Madonna as unflattering behind-the-scenes photos leak on the internet

The blog that originally broke the images (the page has since been removed, but I saved it):

> My boobies are raw… sticky and sweet

Exerpts:

On the one hand, she [Madonna] didn’t have the face of a bulimic, post-mortem Karen Carpenter, but she did have the face of a hamster. Madonna’s always been obsessed with her body, more so than her face. Ironically, her body doesn’t look great either.

Hopefully, she works out like a dog in order to keep her stamina up to do yet another one of her compulsory world tours.

She can’t think that she actually looks hot. Maybe she does.

> Topless Photos of Madonna Leak

> Madonna's naked pictures leaked online - unflattering without airbrushing

Roz Zurko, Hartford Pop Culture Examiner
Oct 8 2011

Madonna’s naked pictures have leaked online and they show the pop diva looking every bit her 50 years, as these pictures are unedited. Madonna’s naked photos are unflattering without all the air brushing usually applied in most photo shoots. These pictures are from 2008, when she was posing for a 2009 edition of W Magazine, according to Pop Bytes.

See Madonna's pictures on PopBytes Here.

Madonna was in Brazil for the photo shoot and the pictures of her naked are taken in her hotel room as she is changing clothes. These are not pictures that were used in the W Magazine spread.

The pictures show Madonna in raw form, without the air-brushing; every wrinkle and dimple is captured on film. She is also posing in an unladylike manner in one of the shots. This is proof that no matter how Madonna tries to keep her body in the shape of a 20 year-old, she cannot arrest the process of aging, as so many of the Hollywood and music celebrities are trying to do today.

> Naked madonna pictures leaked online

> Madonna's topless leaked picture indignity

> Madonna Raw: Leaked Photos Show Madge Unvarnished (photos)‎ - older out takes (not the same leaked photos as mentioned above)

WE film/ Madonna is Boring

Acting > Has Madonna Committed the Greatest Crime of All: Being Boring?

Today 8:45 AM PDT by Ted Casablanca

We were hoping for the best with Madonna's love-story themed new film, W.E., by launching our own gallery of against-all-odds celeb lovers.

So far, film critics haven't been too supportive of Madonna's tale about King Edward VIII's 1936 abdication to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson, interwoven with a contemporary (fictional) love story starring Abbie Cornish.

So, how did Madge do?

Judge for yourself babes, after checking it out, but we have to say Guy Ritchie's ex very well may have committed the worst celluloid crime of all: We were totally bored watching this.

Catholics Don't Want Madonna to Perform at NFL Half Time

Christianity / Cross> NFL Asked To Drop Madonna – OpEd

> Madonna's Super Bowl Performance May Get Catholic Protest?‎

> Madonna Unsuitable For Super Bowl, Says Catholic League

If the NFL is serious about inviting Madonna to perform during the Super Bowl, it should drop the idea, Catholic League President Bill Donohue suggested Tuesday in response to a rumor that the controversial artist is to perform in the NFL's biggest event.

Rumors have been spread recently that Madonna is expected to perform at the Feb. 5 Super Bowl XLVI at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

That would be inappropriate because of the singer's long track record of religious provocation and mockery, the Catholic League president said.

"For decades, Madonna has blatantly offended Christians, especially Catholics. The offensive lyrics, lewd behavior and misappropriation of sacred symbols are reason enough not to have her perform," Donohue wrote in a statement published on Oct. 4. "Worse, she has repeatedly mocked the heart and soul of Christianity: Jesus, Our Blessed Mother, the Eucharist and the Crucifixion."

Donohue noted that in 2004, the NFL invited 'N Sync's JC Chasez to sing during the halftime of the Pro Bowl game. When Chasez said he was going to sing his latest single, "Some Girls (Dance with Women)," the NFL objected, citing the sexual character of the lyrics and saying it might potentially offend viewers.

The NFL then asked Chasez to sing "Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love)" instead. Chasez agreed. Then the NFL decided that the singer had to drop the lyrics "horny" and "naughty" from the song. Again, Chasez agreed. But the football league finally reconsidered the propriety of having Chasez sing altogether, and decided to withdraw the invitation. He was reportedly offered to sing the national anthem, but declined.

"The NFL cannot expect Catholics to be treated any different. Chasez may be known for some dicey lyrics, but he is chopped meat compared to Madonna," said Donohue.

In recent years, Madonna, who is known for provocative concerts and videos as well as skimpy outfits and controversial remarks, has been reportedly more closely associated with the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah than with her childhood Catholicism.

Madonna Ripped Off Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn MonroeFrom an archived 1992 news piece:

> Madonna Lives off Fads of the Land

by Bruce Britt
June 2, 1992

By current pop culture standards, it was a historic meeting of the minds. In a bold demonstration of his Tinseltown clout, Arsenio Hall convinced megastar Madonna to appear on his hip TV talk show last week, and fans howled with anticipation the day of the taping.

But initial appearances of were shattered midway through the show when Madonna went on the offensive.

The singer criticized Hall's set furniture and described the talk show host's hair style as "tired."

It was ironic that Madonna suggested Hall lacked originality, since the singer made a career of resuscitating older trends.

Early video clips like "Borderline" feature the singer prancing in what is best described as hippie chic.

Her "Material Girl" video was a "Gentlemen Prefer Blonds" takeoff, while Madonna's 1950s-flavored "True Blue" video looked like an outtake from the "Happy Days" TV series.

The singer's obsession with Marilyn Monroe-like glamour is documented in magazine spreads.

But while Madonna may not be the most original performer around, she has displayed a keen eye for knowing what well-worn fads to embrace.

Beaten in Music Related Areas (beaten by Rihanna)

Record> Rihanna Beats Out Madonna For New Billboard Record

> Rihanna Becomes Fastest Solo Artist To Chart 20 Top 10 Singles

> Rihanna Beats Madonna as Fastest Solo Act to Score 20 Top-10 Hits‎

> Rihanna Makes Music History By Breaking Madonna's Record

> Rihanna Becomes Fastest Solo Artist To 20 Hot 100 Top 10s

> Rihanna Beats Madonna's Top 10 Chart Record

by John Myers
October 08, 2011 11:55

With this week's debut of her newest single in the top ten of Billboard's Hot 100 Chart, pop/dance princess Rihanna has set a new record for a female artist by being the quickest to score 20 top ten hits.

The feat bests a record formerly held by pop superstar Madonna. The singer's latest, "We Found Love," from her recently announced new album, reached the #9 spot on the charts this week, earning the singer her twentieth top ten single in just six years and four months. It's the latest milestone for a young singer at the top of her game.

Weirdness & Miscellaneous Madonna Bashing

> Madonna Stumbles Around with Blanket on Her Face

by Ellen Delaney on October 10, 2011

In a quest not to be noticed or draw attention to herself, Madonna left a church wearing a blanket over her head and immediately walked the wrong way because she couldn’t see, while using her adopted son David as a human shield. Her security guard had to grab her and point her in the right direction.

Tops a Negative Poll

Hat Tip Hat tip to board member Anshirk for this link:

> The World's Ugliest Musicians

by Robert of the Radish, Feb 8, 2008

Ugliness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has a different opinion on what constitutes “ugly”. Sometime last year I asked some music blogger friends and music biz insiders to answer the following question:

“Who do you think the ugliest musician/band ever to walk the planet is and why?”

...Selected by Eric Olsen of Blogcritics

7. Madonna

Not being a supermodel myself, I can’t really name an “ugly” musician without being overly hypocritical. Physically. we all have our charms. What bothers me about musician’s appearances is when they are not genuine.

Someone like Madonna, who constantly changes her physical look to sell more albums and/or stay popular is far more repulsive to me than the Elephant Man singing reggae ever could be.

Poetic Justice

It appears as though Madonna, who has a history or taking advantage of other people, was herself taken advantage of this time:

> Paul McCartney and Madonna 'charged hundreds of thousands of pounds' extra in 'marked up' bills by divorce lawyer Fiona Shackleton

Britain's highest-profile divorce lawyer appears to have billed her celebrity clients hundreds of thousands of pounds extra for work she did not record on time-sheets, it has emerged.

Fiona Shackleton, who charges £550 an hour for her legal services, appears to have added a six-figure sum to both Madonna and Sir Paul McCartney's divorce bills, in a column titled 'mark up' on time-sheets seen by The Daily Telegraph.

Unoriginal: Debbie Harry Rip Off

> Blondie, always adaptable, stays true to its roots

Aidin Vaziri, Chronicle Pop Music Critic
Sunday, October 2, 2011

If nothing else, Blondie has shown it can adapt. The band, which plays the Mountain Winery in Saratoga on Friday, broke out of the CBGB's punk scene in the mid-'70s, dabbled in pop, disco and reggae, and went on to score four No. 1 hits and become one of the best-selling acts of the era.

Its sound, particularly platinum-haired frontwoman Debbie Harry's assertive yet aloof singing style, served as a blueprint for everyone from Gwen Stefani to Lady Gaga. "Madonna is the only one who copped to it," Stein says.

SEPT 2011

Failure to Make it to Charts

Record> We Are The Champions voted catchiest pop song of all time... by scientists

By Daily Mail Reporter
29th September 2011

Queen's We Are The Champions has been voted the catchiest pop song of all time – by a team of academics.

....Other songs on the sing-along list included Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs, I’m Always Here by Jimi Jamison, Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison, Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus, and Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi.

Unoriginal - Not the First to "Vogue"

> Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ Video Updated 21 Years Later With Never-Seen-Before Footage

by Noah Michelson on 2011-09-28 07:42:31

Brace yourself: You’re about to strike gay gold in the form of a brand new remix video for Madonna’s “Vogue” (see the first video in the slideshow below) featuring incredible outtakes and sequences that have remained hidden from the public for the last 21 years.

The original clip, which was directed by longtime Madonna collaborator David Fincher before he went on to make Hollywood blockbusters like The Social Network and the upcoming The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, was released in 1990 in support of the singer’s I’m Breathless album. Though artists like Jody Watley had already featured voguing in their videos and performances, Madonna’s colassal star power propelled the then-underground dance — and its gay and trans creators and practitioners — into the spotlight.

Hypocritical

At some point in her career, maybe around 2000?, she began telling journalists that she never watches television, and she does not permit her kids to watch TV, either. In older interviews, however, she said she was bored because a place she was staying did not have cable, and so she could not watch MTV (from an archived news piece, 1992):

> Madonna is in league of her own

Madonna spent three months in Evansville [Indiana] recently, filming a movie with Tom Hanks and Geena Davis. The movie is called "A League of Their Own."

....The problem was Madonna did not have a good time filming the movie in Evansville. In fact, she later told TV Guide, "I may as well have been in Prague."

Prague, for any of you rock fans out there who don't know, is an eastern European city where you don't want to go.

... The main reason Madonna didn't care for Evansville, it seems, is the house in which she was staying during the filming didn't have MTV.

For those same people out there who don't know, MTV is a cable channel that shows strange things called rock music videos.

....With no MTV to sit catatonically in front of, Madonna told TV Guide, "I just turn on the TV and sit catatonically in front of it, and like, watch commercials."

Dancing - She Can't Dance!

From 1992 archived news pieces:

> Madonna falls in step [Archived, USA Today]

> Madonna Can't Dance Claim

New Straits Times - Jul 24, 1992
[caption under photo of Madonna on page:]

Madonna... can vogue but can't dance

Madonna makes some stylish moves in her Vogue video, but that doesn't mean she can dance, according to Eddie Mekka, who gave the Material Girl some lessons on tripping the light fantastic for her role in the baseball flick A League of Their Own.

Mekka told USA Today he taught Madonna how to jitterbug - and the lessons didn't go well at first.

"She can vogue, but this is choreography," said Mekka. He said the pop superstar wanted someone else to teach her because "she was having trouble learning the number from me".

However, director Penny Marshall told Madonna to learn the dance from Mekka.

Marshall and Mekka starred together on the long-running Laverne and Shirley and when League cast members had trouble with steps, the two would go out on the dance floor and show them.

Madonna Uses Homosexuals

homosexuality> Madonna Never 'Acknowledged' the Gay 'Ball' Culture Behind 'Vogue' Says 'Leave It on the Floor' Director

Posted on Sep 16th 2011 2:30PM by Sarah Kurchak

Sheldon Larry, director/producer of the 'ball scene' musical 'Leave It on the Floor' currently screening at the Toronto International Film Festival, isn't necessarily against what Madonna's 'Vogue' did with the highly influential gay underground dance, music and theater subculture, but he has very different motives when it comes to his film.

"I think what's great about what Madonna did is she was this cultural chameleon and found all kinds of images, pieces of culture to wrap her brain around in terms of different personifications of women, but she was also a maven in terms of music and the style and dance," Larry tells Spinner.

"'Vogue' came out of there, so I think in that way, she brought it out to the world, but I wanted to shift the focus to these people and give them their due, too."

"....Now is an opportunity for people to embrace these kids as opposed to just the emissaries like Madonna and people like that who have taken from the culture but not acknowledged it. I really wanted to make a film celebrating these guys."

Rude and Trashy to Michael Jackson

Michael JacksonShe is so trashy and rude.

> Madge once put MJ’s hand on her breasts during 1991 dinner

> The day Madonna put Jacko's hand in her cleavage: Craig Brown on the most extraordinary encounters of the last century

> Madge once put MJ’s hand on her breasts during 1991 dinner

London: Queen of pop Madonna is said to have once taken late King of pop Michael Jackson’s hand and placed it on her breasts as they were having dinner together at a Los Angeles restaurant.

Craig Brown revealed the incident, which took at the Ivy restaurant, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, in March 15, 1991, in his latest book, which is based on total facts, the Daily Mail reported.

Brown wrote that as the dinner progressed, Madonna, who was wearing a black jacket and hot pants with lacy stockings, thought she spotted Jackson taking a sneak peek at her breasts.

Grinning, she snatched his hand and placed it upon them, following which Jackson recoiled.

Later during their dinner, she saucily dropped a piece of bread down her cleavage, and then fished it out and popped it into her mouth.

Not A Savvy Business Woman

moneyFor years, columnists told business owners to model their businesses after Madonna because she is supposedly such a "savvy business woman" and a "genius at marketing," but finally, here we have an article advising people NOT to use Madonna as a role model:

> Why 'Madonna Syndrome' Is Bad for Your Business

Excerpt:

Carol Roth
2011-09-27
Madonna -- even after all of these years -- is the undisputed queen of reinvention. She's been blonde and brunette, a singer and an actress, even American and English (have you heard her accent lately?).

But taking cues from Madonna will put your business at a serious disadvantage.

Tries to Stop Negative Press by Threatening Law Suits

Legal Problems > DEATH IN VENICE? Madonna Movie Bombs; Will Weinstein Still Give It An Oscar Push?

By NIKKI FINKE | Thursday September 1, 2011 @ 9:01pm PDT

Only the Daily Mail gave it [the Madonna-directed "WE" film] a true thumbs-up.

But my guess is that probably has more to do with that newspaper’s long and troubled history with Madonna, who in 2009 won a multimillion-dollar lawsuit again the Daily Mail and whose legal reps have been threatening the paper recently and repeatedly of more to come because of its nearly always negative coverage of her.

Madonna's 'WE' Movie Panned and Failed in Venice - and Toronto!

ActingAdditional WE reviews and articles from September 2011 (added here October 2011):

> Makeover for maligned Madonna movie

> A makeover for Madonna's movie about Wallis Simpson's affair with the king?

> TIFF11: “W.E.” Has Gobs of Deliciously Wretched Cult Classic Potential

Excerpt:

by D. Walber
Madonna’s absurd “W.E.” is the most marvelously wretched film I have seen in quite some time. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it falls into the “so bad it’s good” category. It’s simply fascinating in its terribleness.

At first it’s sort of painful, establishing its abysmally ridiculous “Julie and Julia” style narrative and trying to shock a sympathetic reaction to its entirely unlovable characters.

Yet as you pay closer attention, the little things become clearer.

The rhythm of the film, in every aspect of its style, forms an oddball combination of intentional leitmotif and involuntary obsession. It builds “W.E.” into perhaps the most hilariously dreadful period piece ever filmed.

FROM TORONTO:

Sept. 13, 2011. Two journalists said there were plenty of empty seats at the showing of Madonna's "WE" in Toronto, and during one showing, people got up and walked out!

> Madonna Celebrates Frivolous Frippery in 'W.E.,' and Toronto Shrugs

> As a moviemaker, Her Madgesty gets tied up in Windsor knots

Excerpts:

by Lou Lumenick

TORONTO — A somewhat defensive Madonna brought “W.E.,” her much-maligned historical farrago about the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, to the Toronto International Film Festival for its North American premiere on Monday.

There weren’t unintended laughs at the morning press screening here — unlike two weeks ago at the Venice Film Festival, where Madonna’s second feature as a director also received mostly scathing reviews from papers in her adopted English homeland. There was a steady stream of walkouts at the sparsely attended screening in Toronto.

The middle-aged former provocateur’s costume romance (barely a PG-13) was, ironically, competing for attention with the festival’s edgiest and most buzzed-about entry — “Shame,” a drama about a Manhattan sex addict that’s loaded with full-frontal male and female nudity.

The relative few who stuck it out to the dreary end of “W.E.” (which stands for Wallis and Edward) seemed underwhelmed at best.

> "W.E.": Madonna's Wallis Simpson fantasy hits Toronto

Empty seats and polite applause greet the pop legend's "W.E.," about an earlier Material Girl

By Andrew O'Hehir

....But in the wake of "W.E.'s" reportedly disastrous Venice premiere, the Toronto screening was not even close to a sellout. There were banks of empty seats in the Roy Thomson upper reaches, and the press section where I sat was barely half-full.

...But Canadians are a kind and polite people, especially compared to the boorish audiences at Venice, and there was no booing and catcalling at all, and a generous round of applause at the end. Were we applauding "W.E." for not being as bad as all that, applauding Madonna to make her feel better, or applauding ourselves for being such a nice, supportive audience? All of the above.

FROM VENICE:

> Venice ‘11 Review: Madonna’s ‘W.E.’ Is A Royal Disaster

> W.E. – review

Excerpts:

by Xan Brooks
guardian.co.uk, Thursday 1 September 2011

Madonna's jaw-dropping take on the story of Wallis Simpson is a primped and simpering folly, preening and fatally mishandled

...Or could it be that Madonna is in deadly earnest here? If so, her film is more risible than we had any right to expect; a primped and simpering folly, the turkey that dreamed it was a peacock.

...What an extraordinarily silly, preening, fatally mishandled film this is. It may even surpass 2008's Filth and Wisdom, Madonna's calamitous first outing as a film-maker. Her direction is so all over the shop that it barely qualifies as direction at all.

W.E. gives us slo-mo and jump cuts and a crawling crane shot up a tree in Balmoral, but they are all just tricks without a purpose.

For her big directoral flourish, Madonna has Wallis bound on stage to dance with a Masai tribesman while Pretty Vacant blares on the soundtrack.

But why? What point is she making?

That social-climbing Wallis-Simpson was the world's first punk-rocker?

That – see! – a genuine Nazi-sympathiser would never dream of dancing with an African? Who can say? My guess is that she could have had Wallis dressed as a clown, bungee jumping off the Eiffel Tower to the strains of The Birdy Song and it would have served her story just as well.

> First reviews: Venice audience 'rolling in aisles' at Madonna's take on Windsors, 'designer Viagra' - New York Post

September 1, 2011 ι Lou Lumenick

The first notices are in from the world premiere of Madonna's second film as a director, "W.E.,'' at the Venice Film Festival, and most of them are not kind, to put it mildly.

Kate Muir of our sister paper, The Times of London, reports that her romantic historical fantasy about the "misunderstood'' (as she put it at her press conference), Nazi-loving Duke and Dutchess of Windsor is "screamingly, inadverdently funny in parts.''

"By intercutting newsreel, [the Dutchess'] fantasies and careful re-creations of the 1930s milieu surrounding the king, Madonna manages to create scenes which – perhaps to her surprise - had ’em rolling in the aisles at Venice,'' Muir writes "The choicest was a royal dream sequence in which King Edward puts Benzedrine in the champagne glasses of his tedious entourage, and soon a drugged-up Wallis dirty dances with a large, black tribesman to the Sex Pistols’ Pretty Vacant. Costume drama at its finest.''

Todd McCarthy at the Hollywood Reporter is little kinder, saying the film "feels artificial, programmed, rote. Especially dreary is the slow-burning affair between Wally (Cornish) and Evgeni, the security guard, who just don't seem meant for each other on any level."

> Venice Film Festival, Day Two: Madonna’s W.E. is Forgettable; Polanski’s Carnage Giddily Enjoyable

> Madonna: W.E. Are Not O.K.

> The critics already hate Madonna's new movie‎

> Madonna's W.E. Reviews: Movie Lambasted at Venice Film Festival

> Madonna Doesn't Wow the Critics With 'WE'

> Reviews for Madonna's WE Are Not OK

> Madonna's 'W.E.' Gets a Big N.O. in Venice

> Madonna's New 'W.E.' Film Ripped By Critics: 'Simpering Folly'

> Madonna's Venice Film Festival premiere: Stylish but silly

> Critics attack Madonna movie at Venice

"W.E.," Madonna's cinematic take on the love story of American divorcee Wallis Simpson and Britain's King Edward VIII, who abdicated to marry her, has been roundly panned after its premiere Thursday night at the Venice Film Festival.

> Madonna's 'WE': The Venice Reviews Are In

> DEATH IN VENICE? Madonna Movie Bombs; Will Weinstein Still Give It An Oscar Push?

> The Critics Respond to Madonna's WE

> Madonna's WE: Turkey or peacock?

> Madonna's crown slips with mediocre movie reviews

> Truly awful films are an art form Madonna can only aspire to‎

> Wallis Simpson film 'W.E.' earns Madonna little praise at Venice Film Festival

> Watch: First Footage From Madonna’s Venice Flop ‘W.E.’

> First Clips Arrive for Madonna's Critically Mauled WE

> Madonna's movie 'WE' ripped apart by critics at Venice Film Festival‎

> Critics pan new Madonna movie about abdication‎

> Pass notes No 3,038: Madonna. The response to the star's film hasn't been what she would have wanted

> 'Galactic-level awfulness': Madonna's new film panned by critics‎

> Madonna's Film Not a Favorite in Venice‎ BET

Anti Madonna Editorial

> Playing the victim just won't wash, Madonna, by Amanda Platell

Ego

> Madonna denies instructing volunteers to face the wall

> Madonna Reportedly Forces TIFF Volunteers to Avert Their Eyes

By Jon Dekel, Dose.ca September 13, 2011 1:03 PM

It seems Madonna's good natured smiles and compliments at Monday's TIFF press conference for her latest film, W.E., were as fake as her accent. According to a report in the Globe and Mail, the singer-turned-actress-turned-director was anything but cordial to festival volunteers backstage, demanding they avert their eyes when the former pop star passed them.

According to the paper, eight volunteers "were asked to turn their faces to a wall so that they would not look at the pop-star-turned-movie-director as she made her way to her press conference."

Madonna Attempts A Defense and Then An Insincere Apology

Flowers Regarding the video mentioned in the links below:

I think the apology was a fail of sorts, since she apologized to flowers and not the fan who gave her the flowers.

> Madonna Apologizes, Not Really‎

> Madonna’s rep on hydrangea hatred: ‘She's entitled to like any flower she wants’

> Madonna will not apologize for loathing hydrangeas

> Madonna's Hydrangea Hate: She's Entitled, Rep Says

> Madonna’s spokesman defends bitchy flower comment…

Earlier in the week, during a press conference at the Venice Film Festival, Madonna was approached by a fan who gave her a gift.

The singer graciously accepted the present, before turning to the person next to her and muttering, ‘I absolutely loathe hydrangeas.’

Her bitchy comment seemed a tad unnecessary, but in the wake of all the criticism she’s received for being so vile her spokesman decided to issue a statement, which reads:

“She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world. No disrespect to the hydrangea lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”

Are they being serious? Do they really think we had a problem with her hating the flower? Wow, what planet are they from?!

> Madonna apologizes (not really) on YouTube for hydrangea incident

> 'F*** you, I like roses!': Madonna mocks her hydrangeas gaffe in new YouTube video

> Madonna on fan flower flap: 'I still hate hydrangeas'

> Video: LOL! Madonna Mocks Hydrangea Incident

Madonna was Rude About Getting Flowers from a Fan

Flowers > Madonna hates hydrangeas, though not to your face. Obviously.‎

> Jeez, Madonna, what did hydrangeas ever do to you?‎

> Madonna Doesn't Want Your Stupid Flowers, Thank You Very Much!‎

Madonna, who's never held back when it comes to, well, anything, ever, turned on her acting skills during a press conference at the Venice Film Festival where she was promoting her new film W.E.

A fan approached the singer, who was clad like a nun in black and white with a big cross hanging from her neck, and handed her a big bouquet of hydrangeas.

Nice gesture, right?

Apparently not to the Material Girl, who, although she smiled and said "thank you" to the guy, was caught on camera dissing the gift and shoving the bouquet under the table.

Then she glared at a friend off camera, whom she obviously expected to understand her hatred for the pom-pom flower.

If it wasn't obvious enough after her horrified face and eye roll, Madonna is then heard complaining, "I absolutely loathe Hydrangeas. He obviously doesn't know that."

> Madonna In Nun Garb Hates Hydrangeas, Still Has Fake Accent‎

> Hydrangea: Madonna Mad Fan Gave Her Hydrangea (Video)‎

> Madonna's Hydrangea Hatred Shows Her Home Decisions Are Flawed‎

> Madonna's diva antics exposed by a lone hydrangea

> Flower gift by fan fails to impress Madonna

> Madonna receives loathsome flower from fan at Venice Film Festival

> Hydrangeas symbolize 'frigidity.' Is that Madonna's problem?

> Madonna Ungrateful for Fan Gift, ‘I Absolutely Loathe Hydrangeas’ [VIDEO]

> Madonna 'loathes hydrangeas' - Madonna shows bitchy side as she says she absolutely hates hydrangeas after fan's flower at W.E. promotion in Vienna

> Madonna 'loathes' fan's gift of hydrangeas

> Madonna Caught On Camera Criticising Fan Gift

> Madonna Apologizes, Not Really‎

Remember that video of Madonna graciously accepting flowers and then making fun of that assh*le who gave it to her behind his back because that ignorant buffoon didn’t know Madonna “loathes hydrangeas?” No? Well relive it here.

It took a day or two but Madonna finally apologized for being a b*tch the only way she knew how. By not apologizing. Oh, that Madonna.

“She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world,” the rep said in a short statement. “No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”

I think she missed the point. It wasn’t the fact she hurt the feelings of hydrangeas or its fans, it was the fact she was an asshat to the guy who gave it to her. But that’s Madonna for you. Flowers mean more to her than those peons who kiss her ass as you can tell by this non-apology directed towards a plant.

> Caught On Tape! Madonna's Contempt For Hydrangeas -- And Fans‎

> Madonna’s rep on hydrangea hatred: ‘She's entitled to like any flower she wants’

> Madonna will not apologize for loathing hydrangeas

> Madonna's Hydrangea Hate: She's Entitled, Rep Says

> Madonna’s spokesman defends bitchy flower comment…

Lawsuits / Legal Issues - Sued Over Material Girl Clothing Line

Legal Problems > Madonna may not be the original 'Material Girl'‎

> Madonna is not the only Material Girl, says judge‎

> Madonna 'is not the material girl,' judge rules

> Madonna's Material Girl clothing case goes to trial‎

> Madonna Doesn't Own 'Material Girl,' Judge Decides‎ - Billboard

Madonna might be living in a material world, but her hold on the phrase "Material Girl" is legally dubious. A federal judge in California has rejected the pop star's argument that she has established trademark primacy over "Material Girl" for a line of clothing just because she created a song by the same name in 1985.

> Judge rejects Madonna's 'Material Girl' trademark claim for clothing line

Related:

> Madonna Hates Material Girl Label

20 August 2010 16:11

MADONNA is urging fans to stop referring to her as the MATERIAL GIRL - because she "hates" the "materialistic" undertones of her famous nickname.

The pop superstar is often called by the title of her hit 1985 single, but the singer has long wanted to drop the moniker as she doesn't like the inference that she is obsessed with wealth.

She tells Britain's Daily Star, "Everyone relates that title to me because of the song I did like 300 years ago. It's a title I got stuck with. When I first did the song it was meant in an ironic way, as I don't think of myself as a materialistic person. I hate that name but I do love clothes and fashion and I love beautiful things.

"As the years went by strangers would see me in the street and shout, 'Yo it's the Material Girl!' and I was like, 'Ahh, I'm not. I hate that name.'"

> Madonna's Material Girl Woes - New York Post

Lawsuits / Legal Problems - New York Neighbors Sue / Coconut Water

Legal Problems > Claims Go Forward Against Madonna Over Loud Music

> Demi Moore, Madonna, Rihanna in Hot Water over Vita Coco?

> Madonna's Upper East Side Neighbor Is Suing Her For Being Too Noisy‎

> Is Madonna the neighbour from hell? Singer to go to trial over 'pounding noise' from dance sessions at £7m New York home

> Judge: Neighbor's NY noise suit against Madonna OK

> Noise lawsuit against Madonna green-lighted to go to trial

Lawsuits and Legal Issues: Malawi

David Banda > Malawi waits for singer Madonna to 'finish what she started'

It is a far decline for the ambitious singer, who just in April 2010 laid the corner stone for the academy, with the words 'dare to dream' engraved on it.

The failure has sparked anger among some residents who often held a mix of optimism and skepticism about the foreign benefactor, but hoped their corner of the world was finally being noticed.

'Right from the beginning, people warned us that she was just interested in adopting the children,' says Ireen Macheso, a mother of three living in Blantyre, Malawi's economic hub.

'Once that was accomplished she abandoned the school project,' charges Macheso, adding that Madonna is a 'baby snatcher.'

> Still Waiting

> Madonna's School: A Barren Field Of Dreams

She Doesn't Consider Herself a Feminist

Feminism > Madonna's New Flick W.E.

By creating a somewhat incomprehensible, unsympathetic character in the form of pathetic, delusional Wally and a strong, witty, fearless Wallis, Madonna is able to send out a message loud and clear to young women: stop feeling sorry for yourselves and get a life — good advice from one of the world’s most famous and successful women, who described herself during our discussion of the film as “not a feminist” but rather “a humanist.”

Bad Fashion

> Fashion Fails: Madonna, Evan Rachel Wood, And Sonja Morgan

Bet you never thought you would see fashionista Madonna on here. However, the W.E. director appeared at the 68th Venice Film Festival in an outfit that belongs on a nun. It might have been edgy 20 years ago, but now it just looks silly.

Nazi Sympathizer?

Star of David > Does Madonna's WE Have a Jewish Problem?‎

The red Kabbalah bracelet around Madonna's wrist is supposed to ward off the evil eye, but can it withstand some skeptical side-eye, too?

It's being reported that her dismally reviewed new feature W.E. whitewashes the Nazi ties of its main characters, Wallis Simpson and King Edward VIII; according to Variety's Leslie Felperin, the movie "conveniently ignores matters of historical record, such as the fact that the duke and duchess were honored guests of Hitler at his Berchtesgaden retreat as late as 1937."

So that's one thing, but here's another: Guess who's thanked in the end credits? "John Galliano and, particularly bizarrely, Leni Riefenstahl," says Felperin, "which suggests Madonna has, if nothing else, reasons to be grateful to other people accused of harboring Nazi sympathies."

Indiewire also points out that the credits misspell Riefenstahl's name, because things were going so well before then. [Variety, Indiewire]

By: Kyle Buchanan Filed Under: controversy, madonna, movies, w.e.

> Madonna thanks Anti-Semites at end of panned film‎

HollywoodNews.com: Madonna, ever clueless and ridiculous, thanks noted anti-Semite designer John “I love Hitler” Galliano and Hitler’s personal filmmaker, Leni Reifenstahl, at the end of her new film.

This, according to Variety reviewer Leslie Felperin, from the Venice Film Festival.

The film, “W.E.” is panned not only by Variety today, but by all the reviewers who saw it at its premiere.

The Variety review: “it’s in focus, which is more than be said for its script.”

Felperin notes that Madonna has tried to smooth over the Duke and Duchess of Windsor’s extremely annotated affection for the Nazis, too. The movie “conveniently ignores matters of historical record, such as the fact that the duke and duchess were honored guests of Hitler…as late as 1937.”

The fact is, the Duke and Duchess of Windsor were self absorbed, vain boobs.

They were perfectly depicted in “The King’s Speech.” which is why it’s so weird that Madonna has ignored this and embraced them.

The director-popstar-performer is vain, certainly, but not stupid.

But she’s very good at rationalizing when she wants something she wants. And that’s what “W.E.” sounds like, fer sure.

> Madonna Credits Nazi Sympathizers In ‘W.E.’

> The Greatest of All The Amazingly Scathing Madonna/“W.E.” Soundbites

And then there was Madonna’s “W.E.” Which has to be seen to be believed, since even the most well-chosen words falter before its galactic-level awfulness. Yet there I was, like everybody else, positively glued to my seat throughout. Not since Lee Daniels’ “Shadowboxer” have I seen something so utterly wretched on every level, yet so absolutely compelling. From its script, packed with howlers (“Well, if it isn’t Sotheby’s favorite ex-researcher! How’s it been going since you married that hotshot doctor of yours, huh? Mrs. Married Lady.”), to production design so fussy and overwrought it made “A Single Man” look like Loach’s “Ladybird, Ladybird.” It’s a new high-camp classic—like “Johnny Guitar,” except without the talent.

Few things are as grating as bad taste masquerading as good taste, and there is a lot of that here. But whatever you do, don’t accuse its maker of being shallow. No, this is a film with Something To Say: Specifically, that Edward and Mrs. Simpson were IN NO WAY Nazi sympathizers.

This, despite a wealth of historical evidence to the contrary, including but not limited to: their post-abdication visit to Berlin in October 1937, during which both Edward and Wallis gave Nazi salutes to Hitler (curiously unmentioned here, despite the wealth of flashbacks and shifts in locale); FBI records from 1941 showing that Wallis had maintained regular contact throughout the previous year with Nazi foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop, one of her former lovers; and Edward’s rather injudicious decision, after settling some civil unrest in Nassau during his brief tenure as Governor of the Bahamas, to blame the strife on communists and “men of Central European Jewish descent.” (Wallis, meanwhile, though depicted here dancing gaily with A Black at a party, was more succinct about the local population, calling them “lazy, thieving niggers.”)

So: inept, gauche and mendacious. In this light, Madonna’s decision to thank, in the closing credits, both John Galliano and, I kid you not, Leni Riefenstahl (whose name she misspelt) makes a kind of sense. Edward and Wallis were “the greatest love story of the 20th century,” she would have us believe. But that whole Nazi thing? It is a problem.

This is gonna be amaaazing.

> W.E. – review

[one out of five stars]
by Xan Brooks
guardian.co.uk, Thursday 1 September 2011

Madonna's jaw-dropping take on the story of Wallis Simpson is a primped and simpering folly, preening and fatally mishandled

Whatever the crimes committed by Wallis Simpson – marrying a king, sparking a constitutional crisis, fraternising with Nazis – it's doubtful that she deserves the treatment meted out to her in W.E., Madonna's jaw-dropping take on "the 20th-century's greatest royal love story".

...We know instantly [by way of Madonna's directing] that Wallis's first husband is a wrong 'un because he drags her from the bath and beats her, and we are invited to take a similar view of Wally's spouse when he starts claiming that Wallis and Edward were Nazi-sympathisers, which is patently absurd. "They might have been naive," Wally scolds him. "That doesn't mean that they were Nazis."

What an extraordinarily silly, preening, fatally mishandled film this is. It may even surpass 2008's Filth and Wisdom, Madonna's calamitous first outing as a film-maker. Her direction is so all over the shop that it barely qualifies as direction at all.

...That – see! – a genuine Nazi-sympathiser would never dream of dancing with an African? Who can say? My guess is that she could have had Wallis dressed as a clown, bungee jumping off the Eiffel Tower to the strains of The Birdy Song and it would have served her story just as well.

> First reviews: Venice audience 'rolling in aisles' at Madonna's take on Windsors, 'designer Viagra' - New York Post

September 1, 2011 ι Lou Lumenick

The first notices are in from the world premiere of Madonna's second film as a director, "W.E.,'' at the Venice Film Festival, and most of them are not kind, to put it mildly.

Kate Muir of our sister paper, The Times of London, reports that her romantic historical fantasy about the "misunderstood'' (as she put it at her press conference), Nazi-loving Duke and Dutchess of Windsor is "screamingly, inadverdently funny in parts.''

> Venice Film Festival, Day Two: Madonna’s W.E. is Forgettable; Polanski’s Carnage Giddily Enjoyable

London-based TOH correspondent David Gritten reports on Day Two of the Venice Film Festival:
------------------------
.... One suspects Madonna views the Windsors primarily as style icons; her version of their lives is a fantasia that will not trouble historians. (She seems to condone Edward and Wallis’s cosy relationship with the Third Reich.)

> Madonna Says She Identifies With Wallis Simpson

Stingy And Weird: Won't Let Others Use Her Toilet

> Madonna won’t let her children or her boyfriend use her toilet

> Madonna: Sole queen of the porcelain throne‎

> Madonna Toilet Rules

In Touch Weekly reports about Madonna's toilet rules.

According to a friend, Madonna won't let her 29-years-younger lover Brahim Zaibat use her toilet.

"Madonna doesn't even let her kids use her toilet," a friend tells In Touch. "It's just her thing. She is very generous, but this is the one thing she doesn't want to share," adds the pal, who explains that 53-year-old Madonna is very cautious.

AUG 2011

Winner of Negative Awards & Related

> Much-Loved Music Videos That Are Actually Terrible

Aug 2, 2011 by Tom Hawking

Madonna 'Justify My Love'

Yes, Madonna, we know you like to have sex. Good for you. As Future of the Left once sang, 'Lapsed Catholics are the worst.'

> Rolling Stone Readers Choose the Worst Cover Songs of All Time- Selections include Avril Lavigne's 'Imagine' and Madonna's 'American Pie'

> Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Madonna: Worst Covers Of All Time

Miley Cyrus' cover of Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' has been voted the 'Worst Cover Of All Time', in a recent poll.

The singer topped the poll voted for by Rolling Stones' readers for her live cover of Nirvana's classic track earlier this year.

Others that appeared in the top-ten included Limp Bizkit's 'Behind Blue Eyes' and Madonna's 'American Pie'.

> Miley Cyrus’ “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Voted Worst Cover By ‘Rolling Stone’ Readers

...on with the Rolling Stone list of the 10 Worst Cover Songs Of All Time:

1. Miley Cyrus, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Nirvana)
2. Limp Bizkit, “Behind Blue Eyes” (The Who)
3. Madonna, “American Pie” (Don McLean)

Legal Issues / Law Suits / Staff who have worked for Madonna

Legal Problems > Malawi court dismisses legal action by Madonna

> Malawi court dismisses legal action by Madonna

A Malawi court on Tuesday dismissed a legal action by US pop diva Madonna to prevent her charity project from being sued by former employees for unfair dismissal and non-payment of benefits.

"It would be premature to remove (Raising Malawi Inc) RMI from the case because several issues of employee-employer relationship, economic realities and group liability have been raised," according to a ruling by Jack Nriva, deputy chairperson of the industrial relations court.

Nriva said it would be "premature and hasty to bar the applicants from suing RMI. In all fairness, I believe the application to remove RMI as party herein ought to be, and is hereby dismissed."

He said it would be less prejudicial to RMI if it remains as party to the proceedings.

Eight staff members of Raising Malawi Academy for Girls (RMAG) lodged the action at the end of March, claiming they were let go without proper procedures.

Failure to Make it to Polls / Charts or Beaten on Surveys

> Desert Island fans pass over Elvis and Michael Jackson [and Madonna] for Elgar in top 100 list of records chosen

> Desert discs drought for music trio

Aug 6, 2011
Stars including Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson and Madonna all failed to get a single song in a top 100 Desert Island Discs playlist chosen by listeners to the show.

Madonna apparently lost this Spanish language poll asking "Who is the Queen of Pop, Lady Gaga, Madonna or Britney Spears?"

> ¿Quién es la reina del pop, Lady Gaga, Madonna, Britney Spears?

Final results:

Britney Spears: 45% (3087)

Lady Gaga 44 % (3024)

Madonna 7 % (449)

Rihanna 2% (115)

Katy Perry 1% (66)

> Madonna out of vogue with Radio 4 listeners

The singer fails to make the public's top 100 Desert Island Discs

By Emily Dugan
August 7, 2011

Her mantelpiece may be heaving with Grammys and Novello awards and she may have millions of fans worldwide but Madonna has failed to win a much tougher audience: Radio 4 listeners.

The singer is one of many well-known musicians who have failed to make the grade in the British public's Desert Island Discs.

A list of Britons' favourite 100 tracks and artists was announced by the BBC yesterday after listeners were invited to vote online. Madonna failed to make either the top 100 artists or tracks.

Her agent, Barbara Charone, refused to comment on the news, but Phil Alexander, editor of Mojo magazine said he wasn't surprised by the snub: "Why would Radio 4 listeners listen to Madonna?"

More than 25,000 people went online to choose the eight tracks they would take to an imaginary desert island after the Your Desert Island Discs initiative was launched in May.

While Madonna was the only household name who failed to make either the top 100 artists or tracks, many major bands and singers failed to make the most popular track list.

Among them were Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson, Radiohead, Coldplay and U2.

The Beatles were the most voted for pop artists and also had the most songs in the top 100 – "Hey Jude", "In My Life", "Here Comes the Sun", "Yesterday", "Strawberry Fields", "Eleanor Rigby" and "Let It Be".

Bob Dylan was the most popular solo male artist with "Like a Rolling Stone", which came 25th in the track list. The most popular track by a solo female artist was Joni Mitchell's "A Case of You", in 93rd place.

Around a third of the top 100 artists were classical composers, the most popular being Beethoven, who was the third most requested artist after the Beatles and Bob Dylan. Mozart came fourth.

Music journalist and broadcaster Paul Gambaccini said: "In the case of popular music, listeners have chosen tracks that are substantial and ambitious. They feel comfortable professing affection for rock epics rather than mere hit singles."

On classical music, however, Britons were much more patriotic. "When it comes to classical, they are loyal to English composers," said Gambaccini. "Six out of the top 10 are by Englishmen. This is not to say Radio 4 listeners prefer Vaughan Williams to Beethoven or Elgar to Mozart. In total votes for all works, the German and the Austrian are ahead. It's simply that when it comes to taking particular pieces to a desert island, our listeners want to be reminded of their home country."

JUL 2011

Terrible Singer

Madonna's Bad Singing Madonna insulted the Spice Girls some time ago, too (refresher: "Madonna backstage with the Spice Girls: "They can't really dance, they can't really sing and who the hell eats hotdogs between sets?" source)

> Mel B: Madonna is a Drunken Karaoke Singing "B!tch"

In fact, Mel stated that Madonna's singing was "not good enough. It sounded like karaoke kind of, like drunken lap."

When it was revealed to Mel that she hadn't chosen to let Madonna through, she stated, "Good then, biatch!"

> So True? So False? Did Spice Girl Mel B Really Call Madonna a "b***h?!

by Josh Grossberg

Scary Spice doesn't think much of the Material Girl-if she thinks of her at all!

Appearing on Oz's popular syndicated radio program The Kyle and Jackie O Show, new X Factor Australia judge Mel B was asked to rate the best voices based on audition tapes played for her. Only little did this Spice Girl know, the snippets were from some of the world's biggest entertainers, including Madonna.

But did Mel really call the Madonna "a b***h" as Perez Hilton's blogged this morning, suggesting some kind of bad blood between the two? E! News went to the tape and we can tell you the answer is-

So true!

Sort of.

Without know it was Madonna singing, the songstress otherwise known as Melanie Brown offered her appraisal of the tune:

"That was a karaoke kind of drunken laugh," Mel told the shock jocks.

Then, after finding out the pipes actually belonged to the Queen of Pop, Mel added, "Good then, be-yotch!"

Has-Been, Irrelevant

oldlady Notice she's not even mentioned here:

> Rihanna: "There's a pack. It's me, Gaga, Katy Perry, Beyonce"

In a recent Complex magazine interview, Beyonce stated that there was "room on this earth for many queens." Rihanna has revealed who exactly runs the world,

"There's a pack. It's me, Gaga, Katy Perry, Beyonce - who else? Ke$ha, for sure. Women are definitely dominating music right now, and that's because we are competitive beings. I feel like music hasn't been this exciting in a while."

She is also not on this list:

> AskMen.com Survey Reveals That Men Do Not Have Bieber Fever

posted by Rebecca Detken - Tue Jul 26 2011, 2:37 PM PDT

When asked which female public figure they were most tired of hearing about, the men were presented with the following choices, and the results were as follows:

29% Lady Gaga
25% Sarah Palin
17% Kim Kardashian
15% Lindsay Lohan
3% Kate Middleton
3% Pippa Middleton
8% None of the above

Slams and Put Downs

Slams and Put Downs > Morrissey Talks Label Drama, Lady Gaga and Disses Madonna

But he showed no hesitation in dissing Madonna, calling the pop icon "McDonna" and insisting she can't compare to a singer like the late Edith Piaf. Read the rest of the Q&A here

> Morrissey Talks Label Drama & Book, Gaga & Madonna

by Jillian Mapes, N.Y.
July 14, 2011 9:00 EDT

[Journalist Question]: What is your take on what's happening in the music world today? There are dramatic figures like Lady Gaga reigning in pop music, but do you think it's anything new or different from what you've seen throughout your tenure in this world?

I say without bitterness that it is nothing new. I like the idea of women who are in full control, but I am tired of seeing singers who cannot deliver a song without the aide of seven hundred and fifty frenzied dancers assuming the erotic.

It is actually fraudulent, and the exact opposite of erotic.

Edith Piaf was seven inches high, always wore a modest black dress, and sang without stage sets or lights, and her voice roared above the wind, with the most incredible powers of communication. I'd like to see McDonna [Madonna] attempt that.