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Archives: 2010, June - December

DEC 2010

Slams and Put Downs

Slams and Put Downs> Sandra Bernhard Slams Ex BFF Madonna

Sandra Bernhard told new LBGT networking site dot429 (via Page Six) that she and Madonna, "don't speak anymore. I keep my friends my whole life, but Madonna feels differently."

The comedienne, 55, also took a swipe at the singer's ex boy toy Jesus Luz.

"I'm not sure how involved she is with these young boys," Bernhard said. "She has four kids at home."

> Isabella Rossellini not impressed with Madonna’s sex book

Italian actress Isabella Rossellini has revealed that she was not impressed with Madonna’s infamous book ‘Sex’.

Rossellini, 58, who appeared in the 1990 [sic] release, told Out magazine, that she was not fine with some of the things written in the book.

“I don’t think the book worked, even though the photos were extraordinary, and some of them quite memorable,” the New York Post quoted her as saying. “I think there was a little bit of a moralistic sort of ‘I’ll teach you how to be free!’ - and that bothered the hell out of me. Because I think if you want to practice abstinence and that makes you happy, you are OK.”

“If you want to be gay, that’s OK. If you want to screw anything that moves, that’s OK. It’s funny to use the word moralistic . . . but it was a little bit of ‘I know better!’ and I didn’t like that,” she added.

> Isabella Rossellini regrets Madonna's sex book

> ISABELLA ROSSELLINI WEIGHS IN OVER MADONNA'S 'MORALISING'

Dec 10,2010

She basked in the controversy caused by appearing in Madonna’s provocative 1992 coffee table book Sex but Isabella Rossellini has admitted she didn’t think much of the motivation behind the project.

Two decades on, the actress – who appeared alongside the likes of Naomi Campbell and Vanilla Ice in the jaw‑dropping offering – says she found the idea a little preachy.

“I don’t think the book worked, even though the photos were extraordinary, and some of them quite memorable,” says Isabella, now 58.

“I think there was a little bit of a moralistic sort of, ‘I’ll teach you how to be free!’

“That bothered the hell out of me. I think if you want to practise abstinence and that makes you happy, you are OK. If you want to be gay, that’s OK. If you want to screw anything that moves, that’s OK.

“It’s funny to use the word moralistic but it was a little bit of ‘I know better!’ and I didn’t like that.”

> Piers Morgan Bans “Boring” Madonna From His New Show

> Morgan: 'Madonna is too boring for show'

Sunday, December 12 2010
By Tom Ayres, Comics Reporter

Piers Morgan has claimed that he has no interest in interviewing Madonna when he takes over from Larry King on CNN next year.

The veteran journalist and America's Got Talent judge insists Madonna won't be invited onto the show as he doesn't feel she is still relevant.

"She's so boring," Morgan told PopEater. "She is too vegan for TV."

He added: "We have Lady GaGa now so Madonna is banned from my show."

Gross

> When Michael Parkinson interviewed Madonna

by Sarah Marinos
From: Sunday Herald Sun
December 19, 2010
It was a moment that stands out in Michael Parkinson's 37 years of interviewing the rich, the famous, the powerful, the talented and the bizarre.

After years of pursuing her, in 2005 Madonna finally agreed to appear on Parkinson.

.... "We were in talks with her people for about 20 years but it always came back that she'd only talk about this and she'd only talk about that and she won't talk about that," Parkinson says.

"And we said, 'well, it's our show and we are never told what to say by any of our guests. And when Madonna is ready to talk to us on those terms it will be wonderful to interview her'. In 2005 we finally had a call, saying, 'Yes, she'll do it'. And we did a one-woman show and she was absolutely brilliant."

During the show, Madonna agreed to perform a couple of her hits but as she sang the studio had technical problems and fell into darkness.

"And there was a marvellous moment for me which defined the entire business of interviewing stars," Parkinson says.

"We had a technical breakdown and these girls appeared, all her minders, with these little miners' lights clipped to their foreheads. They had various jobs, such as looking after her hair, her make-up, her clothes, etc.

"But, as I stood back, I watched one of these girls with real fascination because I couldn't make out what she was doing. She had a long, thin stick in her hand and at the end was a cotton bud. And she was following Madonna around. And then, at one point, Madonna turned towards her, stood still and the girl put the cotton bud up Madonna's nose to look for bogeys.

"And I thought that's the job I want when I retire to be Madonna's bogey finder!"

Beaten on Charts/ Polls or Failure to Make it to Charts/Lists

> Bon Jovi see off Lady Gaga and Paul McCartney to be top live act of 2010

> Lady Gaga's "The Fame Monster" is Highest Selling Album of 2010

> Gaga, Eminem & Bieber Score Best-Selling Albums Of 2010

> Bon Jovi Tops Lady Gaga for 2010 Tours

> Lady Gaga worked hard, but Bon Jovi and AC/DC top concert draws in 2010

> Lady Gaga Had World's Best-Selling Album of 2010

Fashion

Fashion > Madonna covers up in granny chic for romantic dinner date with new 24-year-old toyboy

> What a cheek! And the winner of 2010's biggest fashion faux pas? We could be some time...

26th December 2010
[caption below Madonna photo]
HIDEOUS MATERIAL, GIRL: Madonna (left) was hardly in Vogue with these checked harem trousers, biker jacket and boots that made her look less Like A Virgin and more like a navvy.

> Mirror, Mirror: Lady Gaga: A style icon in the flesh

...I may wince when Gaga struts her stuff - and face - in red lace, looking like a Queen of Hearts covered in blood, but the bold souls in the industry are rejoicing.

Having just finished a style cycle in which the terms high fashion and celebrity evoked designer jeans, T-shirts, and UGGs rather than sequins, spikes, and wild glasses, Gaga's performances mark a return to over-the-top showmanship. In an era when even Bootsy Collins, Elton John, and Madonna are dressing tamely Gaga has nearly single-handedly brought blinking attire back to the stage.

Ego / Arrogant

> Madonna 'angers air passengers over preferential treatment'

A source tells the publication, "After about an hour, a bus came along and took her and her party of about 15 off the plane. It seemed a little unfair. It's not like she is the President or anything. The rest of us all had to wait for another two hours... Madonna was taken off the plane way before the rest of the first-class people. We were all grumbling about it."

> Madonna's Special Treatment Angers Virgin Airline Passengers

> Report: Queen of pop given royal treatment on Virgin Atlantic flight

> Madonna angers plane passengers

Madonna angered plane passengers in Britain over the weekend after she was allowed off a diverted aircraft two hours before other travellers, according to a U.K. report.

The Holiday hitmaker was onboard a delayed Virgin flight from New York to London's Heathrow, but the plane was diverted to nearby Stansted Airport because of heavy snowfall.

All passengers were kept on board for three hours after landing - but Madonna was allowed to leave after just 60 minutes, according Britain's Daily Mail newspaper.

> Madonna's Airplane Yoga Enrages Fellow Passengers

> Madonna Doesn't Have to Wait

Passengers who were on a Virgin Atlantic flight from New York to Heathrow are a bit pissy today because Madonna was given preferential treatment.

Flight VSO10 was delayed in the US for 90 minutes and was then diverted from Heathrow to Stansted as were planes headed to Luton and Gatwick. Once at Stansted, all passengers had to wait for three hours while planes were diverted. Not Madonna though. She’s a celebrity so she got to leave first.

.... Virgin Atlantic issued a statement saying it’s not uncommon for first class passengers to disembark before everyone else as is reflected on the price of their ticket. Other first class passengers are calling BS because they still had to wait two more hours to get off.

I think the worst part about this is they had to watch that gnarled old oak tree do yoga in the middle of the aisle. People lost a little bit of their soul that day when Madonna went into downward dog.

And who does this b*tch think she is anyway?

The day I see someone doing yoga in the aisle of a plane is the day I accidentally spill hot coffee everywhere.

> Madonna's plane prank leaves passengers peeved

Desperate

DesperateShe was begging for collaborators, which makes her sound desperate. She also sounds like a 15 year old kid.

> Madonna Begs For Collaborators On Facebook

Dec 21, 2010 By Andrew Tijs

The Queen Mother of Pop has sent out the call on Facebook for the “most bad ass people” to collaborate with her.

Despite opening a chain of Hard Candy gyms, she expressed the need to move and sweat and produce danceable tunes.

She posted: “Its official! I need to move. I need to sweat. I need to make new music! Music I can dance to. I'm on the lookout for the maddest, sickest, most bad ass people to collaborate with. I'm just saying ...”

The December 17 post looks like the first personal plea in a long time on her Facebook page (even thought it was probably still transcribed by an underling).

NOV 2010

Lawsuits / Legal Problems

Legal Problems> Another Madonna brand fight starts in Minnesota

Excerpts:

by Jim Hammerand
Nov 11, 2010

Madonna may have to defend her Material Girl brand in Minnesota.

A new lawsuit filed against the pop superstar, less commonly known as Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone, this week says the original Material Girl can't use that name for her products.

... Now a Canadian company says its brand rights would be infringed by the release of a Madonna fragrance next year, according to court documents filed in Minneapolis' U.S. District Court.

In its lawsuit, Ontario-based Rwachsberg Holdings Inc. says it sells personal care products under its Material Girls brand, just one letter off from the Material Girl clothing line that Madonna is selling through Macy's.

Eeeeewwww

Madonna's CootiesI've known this for years (but notice how she blames her kids for the problem):

> Madonna Has A Lice Problem

The Like A Virgin singer [Madonna] says, "There's some head lice going around in my house... It's a reoccurring occurrence.

"I'm afraid to lay down in my children's bed and put my head on their pillows."

> Madonna has lice problem

> Madonna's Kids Have Lice

Beaten on Charts / Polls

Record> Susan Boyle breaks records to become more successful than Madonna - from NOW magazine

> Susan Boyle breaks records to become more successful than Madonna - PeaceFM

> Susan Boyle's Latest Album Breaks Records Of Madonna And Elvis Presley!

> Susan Boyle breaks records to become more successful than Madonna

Nov 18, 2010

Susan Boyle has become the first solo artist to reach No 1 in the UK and US album charts at the same time twice in a year.

SuBo made history yesterday when her latest album, The Gift, topped the charts on both sides of the Atlantic. Her first album, I Dreamed A Dream, achieved the same success a year ago.

> Susan Boyle eclipses idol Madonna with album success

> Susan Boyle celebrates record-breaking hits

> Susan Boyle Breaks World Record

Lady Gaga > Lady Gaga, Beyonce Among Music's Biggest Female Earners

> Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus top 'Forbes' rich list

Half of Hollywood's top earners are now under 30, it has recently been revealed.

And the annual Forbes list of top earning Hollywood female stars has been dominated by celebrities such as Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus. 

Gaga, fourth on the list after Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce and Britney Spears, grossed an income of £40 million last year, pushing queen of pop Madonna into fifth. 

Miley is the youngest star to feature, at the tender age of 17.

> Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and Beyonce among highest earning female stars

Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Beyonce and Taylor Swift were among the highest-earning stars of last year, according to the annual Forbes list of top female earners.

Oprah Winfrey topped the list, grossing £203 million from her media empire.

But young Hollywood was hot on her heals, with Beyonce in second place with £56 million and Britney Spears third after raking in £41 million.

Relative newcomer Lady Gaga came in fourth with $40 million, pushing veteran Madonna into fifth place with £37.5 million.

> Oprah highest earning woman in Hollywood

> Oprah Winfrey named top earning female in Forbes list

> 50 Most Popular Women on the Web: Lady Gaga tops COED's list; Justin Bieber above Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton

> Lady Gaga most popular woman on the web, Justin Bieber turns woman

Based on Google search engine results, COED Magazine has compiled the list of the 50 most popular women that rule the web. It seems to be the season of androgynous mannish women and girly men as topped the list, and Justin Beiber came in at number seven.

Lady Gaga with the disco stick, meat dress and hat hair came out on top, and her meat dress alone had a staggering number of hits on Google.

OCT 2010

Madonna Hates Other People, Insults Them For Being Ugly

> Madonna Hates Chicago: Letter From 'A League Of Their Own' Days Shows Distaste For Windy City

> Madonna: I Hate Actresses

> Madonna’s hilarious ‘I hate actresses’ letter from 1991!

> Madonna Letter Reveals Movie Misery

> Madonna Hates Actresses

A letter written by MADONNA while filming hit baseball movie A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN has emerged online, detailing her misery as she was forced to go without "make-up" and live in a city without any attractive men for company.

Madonna starred alongside Geena Davis, Lori Petty, Tom Hanks and Rosie O'Donnell in the 1992 film, which followed the story of a women's baseball team.

The pop superstar has previously admitted she didn't enjoy making the movie, but her true feelings about the project have now been revealed in a scathing 1991 letter to her friend, photographer Steven Meisel.

Madonna rants about having to film outside, because the sunshine gave her an unwanted tan, and insists she was "dirty all day" and unable to wear make-up.

She writes, "I cannot suffer any more than I have in the past month, learning how to play baseball with a bunch of girls (yuk) in Chicago (double yuk). I have a tan, I am dirty all day and I hardly ever wear make-up."

The singer also complains about the set's location in Chicago, Illinois and bemoans the lack of attractive men, adding, "When God decided where all the beautiful men were going to live in the world, he did not choose Chicago."

Madonna also slams director Penny Marshall and brands her co-star Davis a "Barbie doll", adding, "I hate actresses".

> Vintage Bitchy Madonna

Has Been/ Irrelevant

> Sir Alex Ferguson more popular than Madonna

By Gavin Wilson Oct 8, 2010

Sir Alex Ferguson proved more popular than Madonna when he ate out in New York.

The Manchester United football manager was mobbed as he had dinner at eatery The Lion, while Madge sat nearby.

An onlooker said: 'More people recognised him than Madonna.'

> Sir Alex Ferguson

Oct 7, 2010

Sir Alex Ferguson, the longtime manager of England's Manchester United soccer team, was the center of attention at The Lion the other night. A witness reports "more people recognized him than Madonna," who was dining with Anne Hathaway and Valentino's partner Giancarlo Giammetti in the clubby West Ninth Street eatery. Ferguson graciously signed one of the black-and-white photographs hanging in the double-height dining room.

Beaten on Charts / Polls etc.

Michael Jackson> Michael Jackson Out-Earns Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Madonna And Jay-Z, Combined - Forbes

Oct 25, 2010
by Lacey Roads

Lady Gaga banked an estimated $62 million last year from concert tickets, album sales and a collection of pricey endorsement deals; Jay-Z raked in $63 million while his wife Beyonce grabbed $87 million; and Madonna, the original Material Girl, earned $58 million.

Impressive, until you consider Michael Jackson, the late King of Pop, pulled down $275 million - more than all four artists combined.

It was enough to earn Jackson a spot atop our tenth annual list of the Top-Earning Dead Celebrities. (No surprise, he earned more than the 12 other list-makers collectively brought in during the year-long period.)

Lady Gaga > Lady Gaga the Most Played Artist in U.K.

by Troy Rogers

As Lady Gaga continues to dominate the world with her many awards, top singles and her Monster Ball Tour, Lady Gaga recently received another accolade as the most played artist in the U.K. over the past year.

According to Nielson Music, Lady Gaga was the most played singer on the radio in the U.K. over the past year with over 275,000 plays on the British airwaves. Neilson Music also announced that the Lady Gaga single “Bad Romance” was the most popular song this year.

> Are Lady Gaga And Justin Bieber The New Madonna And Michael Jackson?

by CJ Rutter

Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga have been crowned the king and queen of the music scene and hailed as the 'video stars of today' after their videos recieved [sic] so many hits on YouTube.

The two stars were fighting to be the first artist to get one billion hits on YouTube, are the two major players in the music scene, according to an online video traffic expert.

> MySpace names Pink as best female artist

Music and social networking site MySpace has named singer Pink as best female artist.

The list, which ranked the best male artists, female artists, bands, music videos, saw Madonna being pushed to number three by newcomer Lady Gaga, who was placed at number two, the Herald Sun reported.

> Shakira already puts on a better concert show than Lady Gaga or Madonna

Excerpt:

By Michael D. Clark
October 8th, 2010

I went to a Shakira concert a few years ago and was completely blown away. It was tighter and more musical than a Lady Gaga show and more diverse and dynamic than the showcase productions by Madonna. (That's right. I said it.)

Mannish Arms, Granny Hands / Looking Unattractive

Ugly> Instructions on How to Look Like Madonna for Halloween! Scary, Scary Stuff!

Excerpts:

By Robert Paul Reyes

Want to scare the kids to death? Here's what you can do to look just like Madge:

On Halloween day take a five hour nap in the bathtub, keeping your hands under the water. Your hands will be transformed into Madonna-like veiny witch's claws.

Tear out one of your front teeth with pliers, and you will have a fashionable gap in your teeth just like the Material Girl.

If you are really serious about imitating the Madonna look, work out in the gym for eight hours every day until Halloween. Once you start resembling an anorexic weightlifter, congratulations, you've got the Madonna look.

> Guess the Fug? [answer: it's Madonna's hand]

> Want To Look Haggard And Sinewy? Let Madonna’s Chain Of Gyms Help!

> Madonna Photoshop Watch: Granny Hands Edition

Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn MonroeThis mentions that Madonna ripped off Marilyn Monroe:

> How 10 Stars Have Created Marilyn Monroe's Look

Madonna

Madonna's "Material Girl" music video, which re-created a scene from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, has gotten copied over and over again in its own right. Madonna didn't go as blond as Marilyn, but she did copy her lipstick and hairstyle almost exactly. It doesn't hurt that they both have the same perfectly placed beauty mark, either.

Marilyn Monroe has been dead for over 40 years but is still considered relevant by some people. Madonna, still living, is not relevant.

> Near Misses (top earning dead celebrities, from FORBES.com)

Marilyn Monroe
Actress
Died: Aug. 5, 1962
Age: 36
Cause: Overdose

Monroe might not bring in the kind of money that once guaranteed her a spot on our list, but she's still relevant, and two dueling Monroe films in development could boost her profile. Week With Marilyn, from The Weinstein Co., will star Michelle Williams as the iconic star, while Blonde will feature Naomi Watts. In addition to a bevy of licensing and merchandise deals, she graced a recent cover of Vanity Fair magazine.

Photoshopped / Air Brushed

Airbrushed Photoshopped> 2009's Most Ridiculous Uses Of Photoshop

From their list:

5. Madonna Looking Old [click here to view their photo, before and after being air brushed]

19. Madonna For Louis Vuitton

Desperate

Desperate> Madge Gets Her Kitty Off At 52

Madonna shows she's determined to grow old disgracefully - cavorting in the skimpiest of lingerie.

The 52-year-old comes dangerously close to becoming Queen of Pop-outs as she seductively strokes a kitten and then crawls across a bed [in a series of magazine advertisments for D&G].

Failure to Make it on Charts / Polls etc.

Cyndi Lauper> Cyndi Lauper, Tina Turner, Janet Jackson Celebrate Ladies Night On The Hot 100: Wake-Up Video

Posted 10/25/10 8:30 am ET by Kyle Anderson

The record books established to track the Billboard Hot 100 are littered with female solo artists. Mariah Carey has the most number one singles of any solo artist in history (yes, even more than Elvis Presley) and Madonna isn't that far behind her.

But it took a few decades before three female solo artists moved into the top three spots on the chart. On this day in 1986, that all changed, as Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors," Tina Turner's "Typical Male" and Janet Jackson's "When I Think of You" occupied the first, second and third places (respectively) on the Billboard Hot 100.

Lady GagaMadonna costumes are not on any of the top ten Halloween costume lists this year (and haven't been for many years), but Lady Gaga is mentioned repeatedly as being the number one most sought after female costume:

> Everyone’s going Gaga this Halloween

> 2010 Halloween Costumes Dominated by Lady Gaga

This year's hottest halloween costume is dominated by Lady Gaga. During MTV video awards Lady Gaga showcased many different looks.

"Lady Gaga Costumes are on backorder everywhere," a frustrated local shopper said. She has been searching for the blue swimsuit look since 2 weeks now.

Demand for Lady Gaga costume is very high in Asia and Europe as well. According to a manufacturer, who has exclusive license for many costume lines, Lady Gaga has already topped this year's most wanted costume.

> Online Costume Retailer Halloween Mart Reports Hottest 2010 Halloween Costumes

“We are seeing high volumes of costume purchases based on pop culture, movies and television.” said Carrie Sheerin from HalloweenMart.

....“We are seeing the most costume interest in pop culture characters like Lady Gaga and Jersey Shore.” said Sheerin. “We expected Lady Gaga costumes and accessories to be popular this year, but her recent appearances and publicity have really just pushed the interest to a whole new level. She will definitely be the most popular female costume this year.”

....Halloween Mart predicts the following items to be amongst the most popular choices this Halloween:

Adult Costumes

Lady Gaga : Her popularity has soared in the last year, look for her to be the most popular female costume this year.

SEPT 2010

Beaten on Charts / Polls etc.

Glee> Britney Spears 'Glee' Episode Draws Record-Setting Ratings

> Britney Spears' 'Glee' Sets Series Record

> Britney Spears on 'Glee' Draws Whopping 13.3 Million Viewers

> 'Glee' Britney Spears Episode Beats Madonna Episode In The Ratings

The ratings are in on last night’s Britney Spears-themed episode of Glee, and it turns out the “Circus” singer is the true Queen Of Pop—at least according to the numbers. Entertainment Weekly reports that the song-and-dance-filled hour of television averaged 13.2 million viewers. That not only beat last season’s Madonna and Lady Gaga episodes, it brought Glee its highest ratings ever among adults 18-49 (5.8 rating/16 share).

Photoshopped

Airbrushed Photoshopped> Madonna's Natural Beauty Leaked with Un-Retouched Photos

> 'Untouched' Photos of Madonna Leaked

The latest black-and-white images show her posing as a saucy housewife, but now extra pictures from the shoot have appeared on the internet, showing Madonna without any digital retouching.

The 52-year-old singer is seen looking pale and tired, with wrinkled hands and arms covered in bulging veins.

> Madonna's leaked 'before' shots for Dolce & Gabanna ad show veiny arms

> Madonna, queen of the airbrush: 'Before' shots leaked showing star with veiny arms

By Rachel Quigley

Strike a pose - and then use a bit of computer trickery. That appears to be the secret of Madonna's most recent look.

...Craig Ralph, whose company TapestryMM has worked with glossy magazines and companies including French Connection and Marks & Spencer, said it would have taken two days of solid work to erase every blemish from the singer.

....He [Craig Ralph] added [comparing the "photoshopped" images to the original, unretouched photos]: "Madonna's skin tone has been evened out and all blemishes removed from her d'collet'. Her neck has been retouched to remove lines and the saggy "turkey neck" effect.

Her face has been slimmed down and a clever use of shadowing has helped define her cheekbones. The same technique is also used around her jaw line to make it stronger and more angular.

Her large visible veins have been painstakingly removed to make her arms look soft and smooth.

> Madonna should act her age

> Madonna's Dolce and Gabbana ad campaign: 'Before' photo-wizardry controversy

> Oh lookie here, a bit of brushing for Madonna

> Was Madonna's Dolce & Gabbana's Ad Retouched? Yes, Here's The Proof!

> How photoshop gave Madonna an immaculate complexion

> Madonna Looks Different Without Photoshop

> Unretouched Photos Of Madonna's Dolce & Gabbana Ad Campaign

[View Before and After Photoshopped Madonna Images]

> Hide the Kids! Madonna's Unretouched D&G Ads Leaked

> Madonna Ads Manipulated?

> PHOTOS: Pre-Photoshop Madonna for Dolce and Gabbana

> Unretouched Photos of Madonna Show How D&G Insults Its Customers

Excerpt:

By Jim Edwards | September 29, 2010

Unretouched photos of Madonna leaked from the new Dolce & Gabbana campaign show that the 52-year-old entertainer does not, unsurprisingly, have the milky smooth skin and buoyant breasts that appear in her ads.

The difference between Madonna in real life (yes, she has muscles; no, she doesn’t look like she’s still in her 20s) and the ads is so startling it says more about the insulting way the fashion industry regards women than it says about D&G’s clothes.

Bad Acting / Terrible Directing

Acting> Madonna Desperately Avoiding Susan

By: Roger Friedman in Celebrity
September 22nd, 2010

Madonna's made a lot of films. Most of them are stinkers.

.... "She [Madonna] told them she was too busy [to attend an anniversary screening of the 1985 film 'Desperately Seeking Susan']," says a source.

And yet, our Madge was industriously shooting her warmly anticipated (haha) "W.E." right up through last Friday right here in New York. She was photographed in a gym suit on Saturday attending fake Yom Kippur services at the Kabbalah Center.

Slams and Put Downs

Slams and Put Downs> Brooklyn Local Gives Madonna A "Hearty F*ck You"

by J. Carlson

Would you recognize this lady if you saw her walking down the street? One Brooklyn local didn't realize the woman he was yelling at yesterday was Madonna, Althouse has the whole story, but here's an excerpt:

"She's [Madonna is] apparently directing a film and was shooting right in front of my house in Brooklyn on Wednesday. I came outside to do my morning walk and there were crowds of people all over the place.

I walked a few feet down my block and a chick with a headset held up her arm and said "You have to cross the street, sir!"

I replied: "I don't have to do anything. This is my neighborhood, and a public sidewalk, and I'll go where I please!"

I pushed past and came upon a haggard woman in sunglasses [he's referring to Madonna], a baseball cap and a scarf printed with a stylized skull pattern holding a clipboard and looking into a hand-held monitor along with a couple of other people.

Being a veteran of the terrible world of film production, I recognized that this woman was probably the director.

I paused as I passed and said to her: "You need to inform your brain-dead P.A.s that they need to treat us residents a little better, honey."

She looked at me, expressionless behind her sunglasses for a moment before one of the men with her said "Move along, sir."

I replied "a hearty f**k you to both of you" and I walked onward.

> Will Madonna Replace Jesus Luz, 22, With Oscar Isaac, 30?

Excerpts:

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Superstar Madonna, 52, has crush on hunky Oscar Isaac, 30

Cougar alert, Cougar alert! Lock up your pretty Hispanic boys at the double. Read More

Madonna hired Isaac for W.E, the movie she is currently directing. Madge failed miserably as an actress; she is now trying to earn respect as a director. But no director with even a smidgen of integrity would hire an actor, hoping and praying she will be able to seduce him.

Madonna creeps out everybody except her diehard fans with her brazen pursuit of men young enough to be her grandchildren.

Madge's sycophants may tell her, "You Go Girl", but the rest of us are wincing at her skanky antics.

> Madonna banned from Piers Morgan chat show

> Piers Morgan bans Madonna from new TV series

> MADONNA BANNED FROM PIERS MORGAN TV SERIES

Sept 13 2010
By Katie Begley

CHAT show king Piers Morgan has banned Madonna from his new telly series, the Daily Star can reveal.

...But former newspaper editor Piers, 45, has already given bosses a list of stars he refuses to grill.

And pop queen Madge, 52, is top of the list after Piers criticised her charity work as a publicity stunt.

Looking Unattractive

Ugly> Madonna Looking Idiotic

> Madonna looks unattractive in photos on this page, and she looks Dowdy

Hat Tip Hat tip to board member Rayca for this link:

> Hideous veiny Grandpa set of hands

> Madonna The Director (Pics)

Remember how fantastic Madonna looked when she turned 40 and even how great she was at 50? Well, it looks like time is finally catching up with her. We snapped the 52-year-old star on the set of her latest film, "W.E.," in New York City. She's looking a big haggard, don't you think? Is she channeling Vince Lombardi? Looks like directing is hard work!

View Madonna Looking Terrible Photo 1

View Madonna Looking Terrible Photo 2

Lady Gaga | Answering the Madonna Apologists

Answering Madonna Supporters

Lady GagaGaga and Madonna have next to nothing in common, but that does not stop brain dead Madonna fans from trying to demonstrate similarities where none really exist.

Sorry Madonna fans, but Madonna's "influence" may not be as extensive as you hope or wish to believe.

Madonna fans love to depict any and every new female entertainer as being Madonna clones, even if the two have nothing in common.

The media, who tend to be intellectually lazy, go along with these bogus Madonna comparisons.

Here lately, well-known cultural pundit Camille Paglia compared Gaga to Madonna in a recent published editorial- and not in a favorable way.

One of the most puzzling condemnations Paglia made about Gaga is that Gaga is not original and has borrowed much of her shtick or imagery from Madonna, among others.

Aside from the fact that Gaga has not copied off Madonna much (if at all), this is all the more hypocritical considering that Madonna owes much of her career not just to cheap, manufactured sleaze-filled controversy, but also from ripping off first and foremost Marilyn Monroe, as well as Debbie Harry, Jean Harlow, Marlene Dietrich and a lot of other female performers.

For Paglia to criticize Gaga for being a "copy cat" but not hold Madonna to the same standard when Madonna is guilty of that very behavior is immensely hypocritical.

Unlike Madonna, Gaga does not seem to be basing her career on sex but rather on oddity and weirdness. Gaga's body, looks, and sexuality take a back seat to the absurd.

Gaga is more prone to pose for a photo wearing a bizarre dress made of steak than your usual sex kitten ensemble of a fabric two-piece bikini or corset with stiletto heels, so Paglia criticizing Gaga for not being "sexy," or for not being "sexy enough," or not being the "right kind" of sexy belies her ignorance.

Madonna's brand of public sexuality, which was very obvious, crass, and vulgar, and was no more genuine or sincere than Gaga's, so for Paglia to express disdain at Gaga's "artificial" sexuality but to applaud Madonna's version is also hypocritical.

> Lady Gaga -- More Manson, Less Madonna

Excerpts:

Behind the theatrics of criticism, Paglia is just repeating a story we've heard before, that Lady Gaga is a lot like Madonna! She's also a lot like a bunch of other really great pop icons! She might not be as good as they were! Older people think younger people are stupid and they blame it on the internet and texting!

The article misses its mark because it is written as if the '90s never happened. Once you factor in the influence of alternative rock, popularized while Gaga was just a glimmer in Stefani Germanotta's eyes, Paglia's entire article starts to take on a different tone.

....The most obvious Gaga influence that Paglia ignores is an artist responsible for blending glam, alternative, and goth rock into a unique statement that pissed off parents across the country -- Marilyn Manson.

This next editorial unforunately pays Madonna a compliment here or there, but it also makes a few arguments against Paglia's views:

> Lady Gaga Doesn't Need to Be a Sex Object to Be An Awesome Pop Star

Excerpt:

But just a few years after 'Justify My Love' and her massive, legendary 'Blonde Ambition' world tour, Madonna took it too far. She alienated the very women she freed from patriarchal standards of sex by repositioning herself as an almost vulgar cartoon of what she had been, and her audience could no longer relate to what she appeared to be advocating.

It was one thing to command women (and gay men, who always were and remain a major part of Madonna's audience) to express themselves, but it was quite another to literally bring out the whips and chains.

In this way, Gaga is the anti-Madonna. She may appropriate Madonna's imagery and reliance on spectacle – but really, name a modern female (or male, for that matter) pop star who doesn't – but, when it comes to sex, she isn't even attempting to travel the same road as the Material Girl.

> Camille Paglia's attack on Lady Gaga is way off the mark

Excerpts:

The professor who once heralded the future of feminism now seems marooned in the past

by Alex Needham
13 September 2010

....Even her piano playing gets it in the neck (or lid), but which other pop stars have managed to play an instrument, (co-)write their own songs, sing brilliantly live, dance (though Paglia criticises her "inert torso") and make major fashion statements all at the same time?

Certainly not Madonna, Paglia's long-term crush, who has been playing the guitar onstage for the past 10 years but still looks cross-eyed with concentration every time she picks up a plectrum.

Paglia accuses Gaga of stealing from Madonna, but Madge pilfered sounds and imagery from everyone from Marilyn Monroe to Daft Punk.

Tacky Fashion

> Couldn't you have made more effort, Mum? Madonna wears tracksuit and flip-flops to Kabbalah service

By Daily Mail Reporter
19 September 2010
She's known for reinventing her look time and time again.

But Madonna looked the opposite of stylish yesterday as she attended a Kabbalah service with her entire family.

The singer was accompanied by boyfriend Jesus Luz, daughters Lourdes,14, and Mercy, 5, and sons Rocco, 10, and David, 4.

View Madonna Pic

And while her entire family clearly made an effort for the trip, Madonna looked like a wannabe teenager in her flip-flops and blue tracksuit with polka-dot shirt underneath.

Five-year-old Mercy looked adorable in her smart black and white dress, while Lourdes was every inch the rebellious teenager in her denim jacket.

Meanwhile Jesus, Rocco and David all looked impeccable in their all-white outfits, which are traditionally worn to Kaballah services.

Instead of complementing her beautiful family, the Material Girl looked as if she had just rolled out of bed.

With her messy hair hidden under a hat and make-up free face, she couldn't have looked less like a glamorous fashion icon. And this is the dubious look the 52-year-old has been wearing of late as she shoots new movie W.E.

> Madonna's Style Goes Out the Window on WE Film Set

by Nathan Rao

The long hours spent behind the camera seem to have caught up with Madonna as she directs her latest film.

The 52-year-old pop star, looked exhausted and unrecognisable when calling the shots on her new film W.E. on Monday night.

Wearing unflattering glasses and no make-up she was a far cry from her usual glamorous self. But despite the unfamiliar guise she has not shed her reputation for being tireless and work-driven.

With her directorial debut Filth And Wisdom panned by critics two years ago, the star is said to be working hard to ensure W.E. does not suffer the same humiliating fate.

AUG 2010

Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe> Cameron Diaz, Madonna & Scarlett Johansson Topped by Marilyn Monroe: Greatest Blonde

By Staff
Aug 30, 2010

Modern day beauties Cameron Diaz, Madonna and Scarlett Johansson can't top Marilyn Monroe as the classic beauty has been named the greatest blonde of all time. The late screen legend beat off stiff competition to be awarded the title in a new poll.

....A spokesman for Clairol Nice 'n Easy - the company which commissioned One Poll to carry out the survey - said: "Marilyn Monroe has always been known for her iconic blonde hair. But it's amazing to think that even now, almost half a century after her death, she has still beaten modern blondes to the top spot."

"Her hair is synonymous with 1950s glamor but it has stood the test of time against hair styles and colors which have come and gone over the years."

Greatest Blondes of All Time, according to One Poll:

1. Marilyn Monroe

2. Grace Kelly

3. Brigitte Bardot

4. Cameron Diaz

5. Holly Willoughby

6. Joanna Lumley

7. Scarlett Johansson

8. Stevie Nicks

9. Olivia Newton-John

10. Debbie Harry

11. Madonna

> Watch video of Madonna and other celebrities ripping off Marilyn Monroe

Lindsay, Madonna, J Lo, Paris, Scarlett & More Do Marilyn Monroe

Do gentlemen really prefer blondes? From Britney Spears to Paris Hilton, some of today's most popular stars have all done their best impersonations of the legendary Marilyn Monroe. Check them out channeling the blonde bombshell!

The Kids

David Banda I don't see the point in having your own kids or adopting them if you don't spend much time with them.

> Madonna's Kids Must Schedule 15 Minute Appointments To See Her

> Madonna schedules 15-minute appointments with kids

> Madonna's Kids Have to Make an Appointment to See Her!

According to a new report, the superstar singer tells her kids they have to make an appointment if they want to spend time with her.

Madge - who has four children - relies on her personal assistants to schedule time for her with Lourdes, Rocco, David and Mercy in 15-minute increments.

The children are said to have appointments made to see their mother, who will help with homework, or sing, or even make food with them but only if it has been planned in advance," Britain's Daily Mail newspaper reports.

The kids reportedly have three nannies - all of whom speak French, as they're being raised to be bilingual - and two macrobiotic chefs.

Lawsuits / Legal Problems

Legal Problems> Madonna sued over 'Material Girl' clothing line

> Madonna Sued Over Material Girl Fashion Line

> Madonna Slapped with Material Girl Lawsuit

Talk about a fashion don’t! Madonna is being sued over the rights to use the “Material Girl” name for the trendy juniors clothing line that she designed with daughter Lourdes.

Apparel manufacturer LA Triumph slapped the superstar with a lawsuit Thursday, claiming that it had been marketing clothes under the “Material Girl” brand since 1997.

> Madonna's Material Girl Being Sued for Trademark Theft

> Madonna faces lawsuit on her new clothing line

> Madonna sued for using Material Girl name for her new fashion line

> Madonna Sued Over Material Girl Clothing Line

Bad Fashion

> Madonna Heads Out in Pajamas with Jesus Luz

The iconic singer was photographed walking around London with Jesus wearing a particularly hilarious ensemble: A black coat, fedora and scarf thrown over a pair of red poppy-printed pajamas.

[View Madonna Photo]

> Madonna: Sleepwalker?

> Oh Jesus, why would you do this to yourself?

...we're not sure who looks worse - Madonna or the fallen vision of perfection that is Jesus Luz, because he's only gone and got cornrows. Cornrows!

Slams and Put Downs

Slams and Put Downs> Joan Rivers Takes a Stab at Madonna on Twitter

> Joan Rivers Mocks "Old" Madonna

Joan Rivers has ridiculed Madonna for getting old.

The 77-year-old comedienne attended the pop superstar's 52nd birthday party at London's exclusive Shoreditch House over the weekend and has now taken to her twitter page to mock her friend.

Joan jokingly wrote on twitter: "I was just thinking: Madonna sure is getting old. I should have taught her a new birthday game - "Pin The Tail On The Coroner." Next year (sic)"

The blonde star also made fun of Madonna's multicultural family in another light-hearted post

She cheekily tweeted: "I went to Madonna's birthday party. Wow! The cake had 52 candles on it, one for each child she's stolen from Africa."

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga> Lady Gaga Is Actually The New Mae West

By Adrian Mack, August 17, 2010

Lady Gaga is not Madonna. Quit with the comparisons, already.

As great as it might look on paper, watching the two of them cat-fight in S&M gear on Saturday Night Live last year was too painful to bear. Mostly because it prompted a stretch of dead air that was long and embarrassing even by SNL’s excruciating standards.

But for some of us the episode also vibrated with a certain deeper significance. Here was Madge desperately spraying Gaga with a whole dreary lifetime’s worth of unfunny. We know she can’t really sing, dance, or act, but historians have been remiss in not evaluating Madonna’s chilling comedy impairment.

In case you missed it, she [Madonna] remains the one SNL guest who ever f*cked up the intro. “Live from Saturday—oops! Live from New York, it’s Saturday night,” she went, on January 16, 1993—the dummy—after a tooth-grindingly lame impression of Marilyn Monroe. This was the universe telling us that Madonna surrounded by comedians is Madonna way out of her league. Why were none of us listening?

Sixteen years later, there she is again, clawing at somebody else’s talent like Norman Maine in the leather-wrestling equivalent of A Star is Born. And we all know what happened to Norman Maine, right? Alcoholism, indolence, despair, suicide—that’s what. (Madonna joined a celebrity cult. Same diff.)

In reality, Lady G eclipsed the Material Girl pretty much from the minute she started pounding a piano in her parents’ living room at the age of four.

Madge hung her career on the relatively thin reed of being the one promiscuous Catholic who wasn’t allowed to enter the priesthood. You might say she also has a gift for hiring good help.

Stefani Germanotta merely boasts an astounding degree of talent, no matter how hard all you swinging d*cks out there refuse to admit it. Same goes for any ass-picking sensitive types who lined up to have Joanna Newsom put you to sleep with her 12-hour set at the Vogue recently.

And while we’re at it, same goes for Joanna Newsom, who told the Guardian: “Smart outlets for musical journalism give her all this credit, like she’s the new Madonna… She is the new Madonna, but Madonna’s a dumbass!”

Well, that’s not very f*cking sisterly, is it? Plus, she’s not the new Madonna. Let’s put the record straight about this. Lady Gaga is a number of things—the new Cher (ass pride), the new Jay-Z (esoteric symbolism), the new Nirvana (I’m just trying to be provocative), and if she really puts her mind to it and releases an unlistenable three-disc album full of twee nonsense about jackrabbits, she could also be the new Joanna Newsom. It’s certainly within her broad portfolio of ability.

But most strikingly, thanks to a highly developed sense of the absurd crashing into a mile-wide libidinous streak, Gaga is actually the new Mae West. Please refer to the “Telephone” video for further evidence, which is stone fucking hilarious, from the Klaus Nomi–redux wardrobe design and lit-cigarette-decorated shades on down. And let’s not forget that the whole raison d’être of “Telephone” can be traced to the rumour that Lady G has a peen hammocked up inside her silk dainties. Her response? She shoved her bald Tropic of Gaga right in your face.

I suspect that the innuendo was started by a high-ranking male record-industry d*ckhead who went one round too many with Gaga and lost. In her time, the brilliant and powerful Ms. West had to deal with the same smear, and the same petty jealousies. The only thing that’s changed since then, apparently, is the Hays Code.

Scary Grandpa Hands | Looking Bad

Ugly> Madonna feeling the strain of directing as she films late into the night

> Madonna, still a smooth operator at 52 as she celebrates birthday with daughter Lourdes

By Richard Simpson, 16th August 2010

Sadly for the singer, however, there was one tell-tale sign that she has not been immune to the ageing process. 

A look at her hands as she clutched her black bag and a chunky gold crucifix showed that there are some things that even careful make-up and a tough gym regime can't hide.

Rip Offs

Madonna rips off other people> Borrowed Tracks: Madonna's Material Girl Collection Pulls a Look From Another Designer's Closet

BY Laura Neilson / Tuesday, Aug 17, 2010

While it's no surprise that Madonna and daughter Lourdes most likely rely on a team of designers for their recently-launched Material Girl collection at Macy's, its quite disconcerting to see that their designers might rely on designs from someone else.

In this particular case, we're referring to a blatant imitation of a plaid bedazzled tank top, originally produced by Ronny Kobo for Torn (as reported by Fashionista). It goes without saying that the resemblance, from the placement of the studding on the shoulders to the plaid print itself, is too striking to be a coincidence.

And although this is hardly the first time a garment's been copied in a very obvious way, this particular instance comes shortly after the announcement of new measures being taken to protect designer's creative rights, specifically the Innovative Desgn Protection and Piracy Act and also Fordham's newly-minted Fashion Law Institute.

As a bit of a case study, we asked the Fashion Law Institute's director Professor Susan Scafidi for her take on the borrowed "material:"

This is a tough case to address legally, unless the tartan is a Torn original, in which case there would be copyright protection for the fabric design. Based on the pictures, though, my guess is that it was a pre-existing plaid.  If the decoration were particularly distinctive, there might also be a second chance for copyright protection. Under the new bill in Congress, it would also be hard to protect this design. At the end of the day, it's a simple tank top, and nobody will be able to own such basic designs—they'll all stay in the public domain. In this particular situation, the editorial version of pointing a finger and calling the Material Girl a copycat may be the best option. 

Given the stipulations surrounding copyright law, Torn would have more grounds for legal action if its print had been an original design rather than a standard tartan plaid, or if there had been something more unique about the silhouette of its tank top.

It's frustrating when the replica is such a clear and blatant one--especially in the business of fashion when imitation is not always the sincerest form of flattery--but in this case, the high-profile offense is at least bound to attract more public shame than most copycats.

> Adventures In Copyrights: Material Girl? More Like Stolen Material

by Emily Bihl

This one is so close I had trouble telling which image was which for a good ten minutes. One clever tipster, upon seeing a piece from Madonna’s new line for Macy’s, pointed out that the “Material Girl” line blatantly rips off a design from Ronny Kobo’s work for Torn.

I mean, it’s identical–the pattern, the cut of the top, and even the arrangement of the embellishments. There’s nothing “Borderline” about it– Madonna’s been a “Bad Girl.” What’s your take?

[View Side By Side Comparison Photos: Torn Cf. Material Girl]

Why Cyndi Lauper is a truer artist than Madonna

Cyndi Lauper > BESTING THE SILLY RICH COUGAR: Why Cyndi Lauper is a truer artist than Madonna

by Michael D. Clark, August 12, 2010

Their debut albums came out within mere months of each other in 1983, yet the careers of fashionista/diva/boy toy Madonna and multi-colored, pop-punk Cyndi Lauper couldn't have evolved any more differently over the past 27 years. 

Where Madonna has gone on to sell more than 300 million albums worldwide, Lauper has had to "make due" by becoming only moderately filthy rich by selling close to 30 million albums globally.

(That's still a hell of a lot of records but, for those trying to do the math on your fingers and toes, it's still only about 10 percent of what Madonna has moved which makes Ms. Like A Virgin stupid-rich by any measure.)

Still, Lauper metaphorically turned a few tricks that not even Lady Madonna could manage in those early days. Here's a list to take into consideration as Lauper gets ready to play The House of Blues Thursday night.

1) The monumental success of Lauper's debut album, She's So Unusual, made her the first female singer to have four Top 5 songs from the same album ("Girls Just Want To Have Fun," "Time After Time," "She Bop" and "Money Changes Everything").

In fact, as Lauper and Madonna hits did battle up the charts from 1983-85, it's likely that Lauper — with a a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller —  was the primary force keeping Madonna from grabbing that title (Madonna would later trump Lauper with five Top 5 hits from True Blue a couple years later).

2) Beginning with the early lace undies and jelly bracelets, Madonna was always a fashion icon boasting a wealthy, society fan base.

Lauper had a neon, multi-length head of hair and a garage sale wardrobe handed down from Punky Brewster and was listened to by young girls in pigtails that grew into working-class moms.

Even worse, Lauper had early ties to wrestling manager Captain Lou Albano (he appeared as her father in the "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" video)  and The Goonies that she had to successfully shake before they ruined her career.

Most importantly is...

3) Lauper did it all without the benefit of sex as a weapon.

People squawk about how Madonna has evolved through the years as if she's gone from cave woman to superhero.

Truth is all she did was go from young, desperate skank to filthy rich cougar.

From the time Madonna declared herself "like a virgin," to when she got all S&M in public in the "Vogue," video and right up to until she was playing tonsil hockey with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards ... Madonna has always used a certain level of skankiness to sell her songs.

It is actually Lauper who has truly had a metamorphosis from a garbage can-kicking bag lady at age 30 into a beautiful torch singer at age 57.

For new album, Memphis Blues, Lauper enlists the help of legends from the genre — including Allen Toussaint and Charlie Musselwhite — to create one of the most scintillating interpretations of blues by a pop singer in recent memory.

One listen to Lauper pining through Robert Johnson's "Crossroads," (with the help of guitarist Jonny Lang) makes it immediately clear that the music she is making today is far more lasting than any of the techno-pop Madonna has produced in the last decade.

Let's hear it for the not-so-popular girl getting the last laugh.

Old / Desperate / Looking Bad

Ugly> Sofia Vergara Slams Madonna for "Looking Like a Freak"

> Sofia Vergara: Madonna's awful plastic surgery makes her look freakish and old

> 'Modern Family's' Sofia Vergara calls out Madonna's bad plastic surgery

by Elizabeth Snead, August 12, 2010

"Modern Family's" hottie Sofia Vergara talks to Esquire about her accent getting worse, not better, and bad celebrity plastic surgery. And she singled out Madonna as one of the worst examples of the heinous over-filled face trend.

"L. A. is crazy," says Sofia. "The women all look the same now. That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they're fooling? It doesn't make them look young. You end up looking like a freak."

The advances in facial fillers may have stopped the old fashioned face lift over-pulled look. But it's also created a tribe of chipmunk-cheeked women. Just ask Lisa Rinna, who has admitted in her book "Rinnavation" to OD-ing on filler.

> Sofia Vergara Thinks Madonna Looks Like a Freak

> The claws are out as Sofia Vergara blasts plastic surgery (and brands Madonna 'a freak')

> Sofia Vergara says Madonna looks like a freak

>Sofia Vergara doesn't want to look like Madonna

August 12, 2010

Sofia Vergara is a woman Esquire loves....

In an interview with the mag, the Modern Family star talks about plastic surgery and says she considered breast reduction, but her mom talked her out of it, saying, "God is going to punish you if you cut them."

Someday she may tweak her eyes a bit, but that's it. "L. A. is crazy. The women all look the same now. That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they're fooling? It doesn't make them look young. You end up looking like a freak."

There are three photos of Madonna looking bad on this page and wearing a tacky outfit:

> Time for a day off Madonna? Hard-working star looks tired on the set of her latest film (but still manages to work a new trend)

> Madonna looks old, haggard on the sets of her latest film

It seems age has finally started to catch up with 'Queen of Pop' Madonna.

At 52 ... the superstar could not hide her wrinkles and appeared haggard at the sets of her directorial venture WE, a news website reported.

oldlady > Madonna dressed as cloned lamb

Excerpt:

Aug 6 2010, by Lowri Turner

...Madonna should beware. This week she and her 13-year-old daughter Lourdes launched a new teen fashion line called “Material Girl”.

Madonna was naturally photographed standing next to her daughter. In that one picture, every effort to look younger was wiped away.

Lourdes, at 13, was ludicrously over made-up, but not half as ludicrously as her mother. While Lourdes looked 13 going on 21, her mother [Madonna] looked like one of the Gabor sisters.

Not so much mutton dressed as lamb, as cloned mutton put in a cryogenic chamber, then resuscitated and dressed as lamb.

I, for one, will not be standing next to any teen- agers in the near future.

Bad Fashion / Not A Savvy Business Woman

> Madonna's Clothing Line Is 'Underwhelming,' Says Celebrity Stylist Phillip Bloch

By Allison McGevna | Aug 3, 2010

Pop icon Madonna seems to have conquered every possible entertainment industry in her decades-long career, so it's no surprise that she is trying her hand at designing a line for young women. But while she may be known as a music pioneer, experts tell us her talents as a designer leave something to be desired.

Fox411.com spoke with celebrity stylist and author of "The Shopping Diet" Phillip Bloch, who predicted that the line would be commercially successful, but said he was left feeling slightly "underwhelmed" by the designs.

"The name of the line is fantastic and I think it will sell," Bloch, who has dressed Halle Berry, Mariah Carey and Sandra Bullock, told Fox411. "There are some good pieces but it's a bit one-note. She did not give us what we thought we were going to get when the line was announced."

Bloch added that the line, which is available at Macy's this week, is cute casual wear, but does not have a uniquely Madonna feel.

Check out Phillip Bloch's full review of the line here.

"I thought we would see versions of some of her older iconic looks," he said. "I'm surprised Madonna's collection is not more Madonna. It's slightly reminiscent of her "Desperately Seeking Susan" years, but it is very middle of the road, which is interesting for someone who is known for constantly pushing the envelope."

The line, co-designed by her teen daughter Lourdes, features "Gossip Girl" star Taylor Momsen as the celebrity model. But with the target audience appearing to be teenagers, Bloch said the line was very age appropriate and was not overly sexual in any way.

According to Bloch, the target audience was a smart move, since most 30-somethings are past the point of "wanting to dress like Madonna in the Material Girl years."

Still, the line doesn't come without any controversy, with Momsen, 17, coming under fire in recent weeks for talking about sex toys.

But controversy aside, Bloch did say there were a few pieces he liked, including a studded leather jacket. But while he said the line was "good" in it's production value, the design component would have benefited from a more cohesive feel or standout pieces, like T-shirts with some of her famous lyrics.

JULY 2010

Looking Unattractive

Ugly > Series of photos of Madonna looking awful

> Madonna on "We" shoot, looking terrible

> Maybe she needs a Holiday? Madonna feels the strain as she films in France

These days, we are more used to seeing her gyrating in a leotard and looking far younger than her 51 years.

But Madonna seemed to be feeling the strain as she oversaw filming of W.E - the dramatisation of the love affair between King Edward and American divorcée Wallis Simpson.

The singer, wearing a floppy brimmed hat pulled down over her head, baggy tracksuit bottoms and a long-sleeved white top under a loose spotty T-shirt, looked exhausted on set in France. 

View Madonna photo | View Madonna photo 2

She was spotted yawning, clutching her head as if suffering from a painful headache and at one point appeared to be screaming with her fingers in her ears.

Her appearance was a far cry from the stylised shoots and outrageous outfits the Material Girl sports when promoting and performing her music.

Air Brushed / Photoshopped

Airbrushed Photoshopped > Madonna, Demi and other women I'd like to show their age

by Sarah Churchwell, July 24, 2020

It seems that older women are being celebrated by our society at last – or so we're being told. A raft of recent stories have assured women that it is no longer the case that they become invisible once they reach middle age.

Take Madonna (we always take Madonna in these matters), who at the age of 51 has just signed to a high-profile campaign with Dolce & Gabbana. Or Sharon Stone, at 52 the face of Dior cosmetics.

....It does seem to be the case that the fashion industry is finally recognising how many of its consumers are wealthy older women and that it might be wise to consider representing them. It is also true that the fashion industry enjoys shocking itself, and few things could be more shocking than admitting that older women – or even undeniably old women, as in the case of 81-year-old model Daphne Selfe, recently featured by Sykes London – might be beautiful, and marketable.

But before we pop open the champagne, let's consider the obvious. The fact is that all of these women look at least 20 to 30 years younger than they are – especially in photographs. In Dior's Sharon Stone campaign, she looks gorgeous, to be sure – but she also looks rather like a Japanese anime drawing of herself 30 years ago. The "photographs" are so airbrushed they're more like paintings: there's not a wrinkle to be seen, not a whisper of a laughter line or a crow's foot, and certainly not a grey hair.

....But I'd settle for a wrinkle, a crease, a single sign of a life well-lived, as evidence that we now find older women attractive. The vast majority of the time we don't: we just demand that they look like younger women.

Like Madonna. The new Dolce & Gabbana campaign features pictures as egregiously airbrushed as the Stone Dior ads: Madonna, looking preposterously beautiful, is walking with a young man in his 20s, and she looks not a day older. How, if our images of older women look exactly like our images of younger women, does this represent progress?

Moreover, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess – this is sheer speculation, obviously – that it's just possible that Madonna, Sharon, Elle, et al might possibly, maybe, have had the teensiest bit of cosmetic surgery. Not to mention their extreme diet and exercise regimens. This is all symptomatic of our more general cultural obsession with youth: male movie stars are, by and large, subject to similar pressures regarding their bodies, but it remains the case that women are far more so.

....The most famous cougar is Demi Moore, who's cheerfully admitted to having had a complete surgical overhaul so that she looks half her age, and can marry someone who is. The point is that the "older" ages of Madonna and Moore are little more than a technicality as long as they look 30, and are rich enough to maintain the illusion for a while longer.

Far from these older women heralding a step forward, they are setting the bar impossibly high for the rest of us, who will seem all the more aged when our real wrinkles show.

None of this represents an evolution in attitude, in which the signs of age on women have become more attractive: on the contrary, it's selling women an entire industry geared at erasing those signs.

The logical next step is to blame real women for failing to live up to the unreasonable standards being set: if Sharon Stone looks that good at 52, why don't you? Ideally, we should try reconciling ourselves to ageing in general; but failing that, if we're going to be obsessed with youth we need at least to abolish the double-standard.

Desperate / Bad Fashion

Desperate > Madonna goes clubbing in hip hop tracksuit in latest desperate attempt to wind back the clock

Madonna is known for her continual attempts to reinvent herself  - but the superstar's latest effort to keep in touch with the younger generation may have gone too far.

The singer made the unusual choice of an oversized navy 80s-style Adidas tracksuit, blue trilby hat and polka dot navy and white shirt as she held a surprise party for her singers and dancers in London.

In keeping with her sporty theme she matched the outfit with white trainers.

Despite her misguided attempt at youthful dressing, the 52-year-old had no trouble when it came to keeping up with her younger friends.

She partied at Aura club in the capital until 3am, when she looked slightly worse for wear as she was driven home.

Terrible to Work For

> Has Madonna's Wallis Simpson obsession gone too far?

A few weeks ago, actress Margo Stilley and Madonna had a heated argument. The row started with a discussion over how Stilley – best known for her sexually explicit performance in Michael Winterbottom's controversial 2004 film 9 Songs – should play the role of Lady Thelma Furness, Edward VIII's mistress and the woman who introduced him to Wallis Simpson, in

Madonna's new film about the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, W.E. According to reports, Stilley found Madonna, who is directing the movie, overbearing and controlling and finally, just as filming was about to start, she could take no more. 'I had the role, but we had artistic differences,'she said. 'She is really something.'

Stilley is the latest in a long line to quit the production – those no longer associated with the film include the actors Ewan McGregor and Vera Farmiga (due to play Edward and Wallis), producer David Parfitt (who won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love) and the distinguished casting director Nina Gold. By her own admission, Madonna is not easy to work with: 'To me, the whole process of being a brushstroke in someone else's painting is a little difficult,'she has said. 'I'm used to being in charge of everything.'

Beaten in or on Polls, Charts, Sales #s, etc

money > U2 Is World's Top Earning Band: Survey

> U2 top Forbes.com music high earners list

> U2, AC/DC and Beyonce top 'Forbes' money-maker list

> U2 Tops Rock's Richest List

> Surprise, Surprise: U2 Named World's Top-Earning Musicians

> U2 tops Forbes music earnings list

The full list:

1. U2, $130 million.
2. AC/DC, $114 million.
3. Beyoncé Knowles, $87 million.
4. Bruce Springsteen, $70 million.
5. Britney Spears, $64 million.
6. Jay-Z , $63 million.
7. Lady Gaga, $62 million.
8. Madonna, $58 million.
9. Kenny Chesney, $50 million.
10. Black Eyed Peas and Coldplay, tied at $48 million.

Ha Ha.

> Madonna Banned From Building On New York Farm

Madonn has been forced to halt the construction of a fence on her horse farm in New York after receiving a cease-and-desist notice from county officials who own the development rights to her land.

...The pop star began building a fence around the property, but the work has since been put on hold after she failed to apply for permission from Southampton and Suffolk County officials, who own its development rights.

According to the New York Post, Madonna received a cease-and-desist letter from the county on 7 July (10)

Air Brushing | Photoshopping

Airbrushed Photoshopped > What is Wrong With Madonna's Face? Madonna looks old

July 06, 2010 by Jarett Wieselman

[View Madonna Photo]

Madonna -- who has never met an airbrushing tool she didn't seduce and buy a NYC penthouse apartment -- is back at it in a series of new Dolce & Gabbana ads, which supposedly reveal a "playful, cinematic take on Italian family."

I don't know about Roman relationships, but I can recognize serious photoshopping when I see it and these ads have the most jarringly distorted heads I've laid eyes on since "Beetlejuice." It's like they've taken images of Madge from the late 80's and tried to affix the face to her modern day body.

The queen barely even has a chin in that pic on the right. Take a gander at all six ads (via [a fan site]) and decide for yourself. On the plus side, the clothes look fabulous!

> Madonna Photoshop Claims Surface Again

Grandpa Hands | Looking Unattractive

Ugly The following page features photos, including one very scary close-up of Grandma-donna's gnarled, veiny hand:

> Madonna has solution injected into her aging 'granny' hands

Excerpts:

by Dean Piper

And I hear the 51-year-old Queen of Pop has started work on the toughest part of her body – those dreaded Granny hands.

Yes, the Material Girl is seeking help from her ­dermatologist Dr Fredric Brandt to combat her pop-out veiny mitts – and until then she’s doing her utmost to make sure they stay hidden from prying lenses.

....[Says a source:] “Madonna hates the appearance of her hands and says they are too “old lady”.

....My mole adds: “She can’t channel Michael ­Jackson and wear gloves ­everywhere.

“That’s ridiculous, so she’s taking matters into her own, erm, hands. I’ve been told the hands are off limits to be shown in public. You wait and see. She won’t be photographed for ages with her hands on show.”

> Madonna Hopes Plastic Surgeon Can Fix Her "Granny Hands," By Robert Paul Reyes

> Madonna having work done on her hands, according to report

> Madonna to fix 'granny hands'

> Is Madonna Trying Too Hard To Look Young?

> Madonna's getting her 'granny hands' fixed

> MITTdonna

> Madonna Tired Of Her Veiny ‘Old Lady’ Hands

> Madonna: wil she ever take those gloves out?

Madonna may have been the resplendent queen of Pop of the 80s but bygone is bygone. Now, into her 50s, the diva is ageing and is developing wrinkles. Her hands have got wrinkly to the extent of looking ugly and that’s the chief reason why she wears those long hand gloves.

Feminism | Bad Fashion

Feminism> REDDY BLASTS MADONNA FOR SEXUALISING YOUNG GIRLS

> Helen Reddy: Madonna Made Us All Whores

Helen Reddy went shopping for a bra while in London. Here's what happened:

> Helen Reddy attacks Madonna over bras

"So I finally said to the salesgirl, 'Do you have any underwear that isn't slutty?' -- and she pointed me to the sports department!"

Reddy, who's now retired from show business after making history as the first Aussie to have a No. 1 single in the US and win a Grammy -- seemed to blame Madonna for her bra ordeal.

"When I was a girl, we used to complain we were divided into two groups: We were either virgins or we were whores," she says. "And then along came Madonna -- and now we're all whores.

"It is horrifying to me to see these little girls, you know, dressed as sexpots, trying to imitate the latest video they've seen." ...

JUNE 2010

Tracy Anderson

According to various news sources, Tracy Anderson is relieved not to have to work with or for Madonna anymore.

> Celebrity Trainer Tracy Anderson Does Not Miss Working with Madonna

> Tracy Anderson's Madonna Admission

Beaten on Polls/ Charts etc

money> Britney Beats Madonna on Forbes Power List

> Lady GaGa Beats Madonna In Rich List...

30 June 2010

American artists Britney Spears and Lady GaGa has beaten the Queen of Pop, Madonna, in the Forbes Celebrity 100 Power list.

In the past year, Madonna has 'only' earnt £38 million, falling behind the likes of Beyoncé, Britney and GaGa in the poll.

Lady G's heavy touring schedule has contributed greatly to her recent riches, reports claim.

Beyonce Knowles - £57 million
Britney Spears - £42 million
Lady GaGa - £41 million
Madonna - £38 million

None of these singers could beat the money machine Oprah Winfrey however, who earned a staggering £208 million!

> Oprah tops Forbes annual list of 100 most powerful celebs

> Oprah is Forbes' most powerful celeb

> Oprah tops list of most powerful celebrities

> The Newcomers: A World Gone Gaga

Ego / Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga> Madonna Is Insufferable

Excerpt:

Lady Gaga has a long way to go before she becomes the next Madonna. And by "long way," I mean she'll have to sleep with half of Hollywood, age horribly, and remove her penis. No, when you're Madonna, you're the first of your kind. And as it turns out, there's actually a name for people who are true originals like Madonna: they're called Patient Zero.

Other CelebSlam entries about Madonna

Tacky Fashion

> Wow, Madonna Looked - How Can We Say This - Crap Last Night…

[snip recent Madonna photos]

It’s at times like these that we always find it best not to mince our words – so bearing that in mind, let’s all have a little chat about the outfit Madonna wore to Diane von Furstenberg party last night shall we?

Let’s be honest – she [Madonna] looked like a totally f-ing arse didn’t she? The gangster pimp hat and jacket were bad enough on their own, but paired with ridiculously baggy trousers! Madge - what were you thinking?

Still at least Madonna wasn’t the only person to dress like a total arse at the party last night....

Failure to Make it To Polls/Charts

RecordMadonna is not mentioned in this article as being one of the women who is "ruling summer's music."

> Women Rule Summer's Music

by Elysa Gardner , June 20, 2010

Female singers are more popular than ever. They dominated:

Record sales. Three of last year's four best-selling albums were by women. Young country-pop star Taylor Swift's Fearless ranked No. 1, followed by middle-aged sensation Susan Boyle and post-Madonna phenom Lady Gaga at No. 4. (Michael Jackson was No. 3.)

Radio. Swift and Beyonce ranked No. 1 and No. 2, respectively, as the most-played artists on radio and online.

Online. Seven of the 10 artists streamed most frequently on the Internet were female: Swift and Beyonce, at No. 1 and No. 2, respectively, followed by Mariah Carey (No. 5), Britney Spears (No. 6), Pink (No. 7), Lady Gaga (No. 8) and Kelly Clarkson (No. 9).

Globally. Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream album topped the charts worldwide with 8.3 million copies sold.

Sacrilege / Blasphemy

Christianity / Cross> Madonna is No Saint Teresa

via Gene Veith

At the Washington Post’s On Faith section, Mark Judge argues in “Lady Gaga is no Madonna” that his fellow conservatives don’t understand pop music. He starts out making a defensible case before attemping a bizarre contrarian interpretation of pop-star Madonna’s infamous “Like a Prayer” video:

[snip Judge's remarks]

Judge claims that comparing Madonna to Lady Gaga is ” yet another sign of the pop culture (and even religious) illiteracy of the right.” But it’s Judge who appears to be confused about religion. I’m not a Catholic so I may be missing some essential nuance, but I don’t think that in the history of the Church saintly intercession entailed sexual intercourse. There is a profound differnce between using sexual passion as a metaphor and a saint actually having sex with a petitioner. I’m not sure if it’s blasphemous to depict Madonna fornicating with Martin de Porres on a church pew—but it is certainly disrespectful to the memory of a man who was not only a devout Christian but a life-long practitioner of celibacy.

I agree with Judge that conservatives need to be more well-informed about pop culture in order to provide more relevant criticism. In turn, Judge would do well to become more well-informed about the Christian faith.

Greedy / Not a Savvy Business Woman / Not In Control

money > New book tells how Madonna was beaten by Warners

> Madonna outplayed by Edgar Bronfman Jr. in Maverick

by Frank Digiacomo, June 14, 2010

The theme of Madonna's life story is that she gets her way - in love, life and business. But that was until she came up against Seagram's liquor fortune heir Edgar Bronfman Jr.

In "Fortune's Fool: Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner Music, and An Industry of Crisis," which Simon & Schuster will begin shipping to bookstores at the end of this month, investigative journalist Fred Goodman writes that Bronfman outplayed Her Madgesty after the pop star attempted to pressure him into paying a king's ransom for her stake in Maverick Records.

....But, in the end, the author reports, she [Madonna] "sold her 30% interest in Maverick to Bronfman for $17 million - only $2 million more than he had offered in the first place and a figure that almost certainly could have been reached without any public posturing."

Three months later, Bronfman and Warner Music Group Chairman Lyor Cohen sought to mend fences with the artist by inviting her to meet with them. Bronfman greeted Madonna with a gift-wrapped box. "You've been incredibly important to this company for 20 years," Bronfman told her. Inside the box was a diamond bracelet.

"The gift," Goodman writes, "seemed to hit the right note. ‘She was like a little girl,'" Bronfman recalled. "'It broke the ice.'"

Answering the Madonna Apologists / Re: Lady Gaga

Answering Madonna Supporters

Lady GagaI don't care to spend too much space on this topic on the home page, so I'll try to keep this short.

This past week, Lady Gaga released a video called "Alejandro." (You can view Alejandro on You Tube).

Shortly afterwards, many bloggers began trashing Lady Gaga over this video, (which doesn't bother me too much because I'm not a Gaga fan), but in doing so, most of them are repeating falsehoods about Madonna, ones that I and other people have debunked many times over at the Anti Madonna Discussion board in years past.

Some of the more common pieces of misinformation I see repeated in the anti-Gaga editorials are that "Madonna writes her own songs," and that "Madonna is original."

No, Madonna does not write most of her own songs, she doesn't have musical talent, and goodness no, she's not original.

Unattractive / Mannish Physique

Ugly > Madonna Dumps Jesus For Maksim Chmerkovskiy

June 11, 2010 by Roberta

Just when you thought that things were getting hot and heavy between the “Dancing With The Stars” pro and partner, Erin Andrews, Madge steps in and wants to put her old lady hands all over him. Ugh.

.... (View Close-Up Photo of Madonna's Scary Wrinkled Hands)

He’s hot and he and Erin make a cute couple, I don’t know what he’d see in Madonna. She’s old and her hands are scary looking.

> How Sick Is This? Belinda Carlisle Starved Herself to Look Like Madonna

Excerpts:

By R. P. Reyes

Muscular men  look macho and  healthy, muscular women look like circus freaks. With her wrinkled hands, and muscular arms Madonna looks like she escaped from the circus.

....Ladies please admire Madge`s iron will to succeed, but don`t emulate her gross physique.

Responding to Faulty Reporting

> Madonna didn't free the gay Malawians – she just signed a petition!

Celebrities don't make the difference they think they do

June 1, 2010
by Hadley Freeman

...."Malawi Releases Gay Couple After Material One Protests", squealed E!, the entertainment news behomoth named after the substance one must be on in order to watch it. "Madonna Saves Malawian Couple!" trilled another, apparently not having heard of the UN's Ban Ki-moon, who met Malawi's president before the men's release. But then, has anyone ever seen Ban masturbate on stage? Case. Closed.

.... Except that the briefest of glances at Madonna's blog shows this was not what she had claimed at all.

Despite at least one celebrity magazine insisting the contrary, all Madonna did this weekend was announce that the Malawian couple has been freed from prison.

Yes, she said she signed a petition; no, she has not said it was the petition that liberated them.

This means that we have now reached a rather interesting pocket in time, where the celebrity press puts more store in the power of Madonna than Madonna does herself.