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Archives: 2010, January - May

MAY 2010

Has-Been, Washed Up

I for one am not shocked that a twelve year old kid in 2010 has no idea who Madonna is.

> Holly-Shocker! Greyson Michael Chance Has “No Idea” Who Madonna Is!

May 26, 2010
by Russell Weakland

Backstage at the Ellen show, the YouTube sensation revealed he couldn’t even name ONE Madonna song — let alone know who she is! Thanks to little Greyson Michael Chance, we’re starting to feel REALLY old.

Before taping his segment on the Ellen Show May 25, ‘Baby Bieber’ admitted to HollywoodLife.com’s insider he doesn’t have any idea who the Queen of Pop is — even though they share the same manager! “I love Lady Gaga, she’s my inspiration. As for Madonna, I have no idea who that is,” Greyson told our source candidly.

Shocked, our insider quickly set the 12-year-old straight, telling him, “Imagine the original Lady Gaga…that’s Madonna!”

Airbrushed / Photoshopped - part 3

Airbrushed Photoshopped (These photos have also been added to the Vogue Gallery)

> Madonna for Louis Vuitton Photos, Raw and Unretouched - page has photos

> Madonna Seen Without Airbrushing Looking Her Age

Images of the star - shot as part of her £7million deal with Louis Vuitton - appear to show for the first time her wrinkles, open pores, turkey neck and double chin.

They were later believed to be airbrushed to oblivion, with the mum-of-four looking much more familiar - and 20 years younger.

....Yes, the image is the unvarnished truth. There are open pores, wrinkles and, whisper it, the trace of a turkey neck.

> Madonna and Ann Taylor: Photoshop Two Ways

The anti-retouching push has been monumental in recent months. Celebrities and models alike have stepped up to be photographed without artificial enhancement of their bodies and faces. French Marie Claire and Harper's Bazaar went the no-retouching route for recent issues, as did Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears. Then there's Madonna. While she may not have asked for it (as Spears did), photos of her sitting for Louis Vuitton's FW09 ad campaign without any tightening and tweaking have been released. Today, BryanBoy posted four images from the Steven Klein shoot that show Madge sans photoshop. While the coug has been snapped au natural by paparazzi countless times, seeing the side-by-side comparison of the ad images pre and post-retouching is pretty shocking.

Answering the Apologists

Answering Madonna Supporters

Madonna: Unique?

> M.I.A. Praises Madonna and Trash Talks Lady Gaga

> M.I.A. Questions Lady Gaga's Impact, "You Can't Really Say That She's Culturally A Change"

Rap singer "M.I.A." believes that Madonna is "unique." No, she's not.

(See also -from the discussion board- Madonna Rip Offs, Madonna Musical Rip Offs, Belgian Songwriter Wins Plagiarism Suit Against Madonna, Madonna Pays Up To Settle Copyright Lawsuit - also check out the "Song writing" and "Stephen Bray" threads.)

Madonna didn't really "do any songs" (as M.I.A. put it); she had Pat Leonard, Billy Steinberg, Stephen Bray and a host of others write hit songs for her.

Madonna did and does have stylists, one of the earliest being Maripol.

Gross

Trash CanWhy would anyone want one of her snotty facial tissues? She actually donated an old tissue she used to some charity.

What's even more sad is that I can imagine someone actually tried to win it or bid on it.

> Madonna’s Raising Malawi charity received $1 million for personal appearance

by Roger Friedman | Madonna–who has not donated money to AmFAR at least through her charitable Ray of Light foundation–auctioned off a couple of handbags she owned, a signed guitar, and some miscellaneous items from the stage, even some used tissues.

Airbrushed / Photoshopped - part 2

Click to view larger versionSomeone made a mock advertisment for a fake product, showing a before and after photoshopped image of Madonna (pictured at left; click to enlarge).

Scroll down this page to see 'Answering the Apologists: Madonna Photos: Air Brushed?' for more links like these:

> Madonna shills Adobe Photoshop Day Cream

> Madonna's Photoshop Day Cream

> Adobe PhotoShop Day Cream Featuring MADONNA!!!

> Madonna Demonstrates Adobe Photoshop Day Cream

> Adobe Photoshop day cream (large image)

> Adobe Photoshop Day Cream The Secret to Madonna's Success

> Photoshop Day Cream…Sponsored by Madonna!

Legal Problems

Legal Problems> Madonna pays £10k to boogie

> Madonna Pays Parking Tickets

> Madonna’s night out ends with parking ticket

May 22, 2010 | ‘Material Girl’ singer Madonna landed herself a ticket during a night out after she parked her car on a double yellow line in Mayfair.

Madonna, 51, had organised a thank you party for her tour dancers, which started with dinner at the exclusive Supperclub in Notting Hill and moved on to Aura nightclub, reports the Sun.

She is said to have racked up a 10,000-pound bar bill by ordering Cristal champagne, with lit sparklers attached, and shots while her entourage held dance offs.

And when she left the nightclub, she was shocked to find a ticket for 120 pounds on the black car.

Madonna's 'Old Lady' Album Cover Listed As "Unsexy"

Album> 'The Most Hilariously Unsexy Album Covers Ever' - do you agree that Madonna, Prince, and Adam Lambert failed to bring the heat?

by Clark Collis

Cracked.com has just posted a list of “The Most Hilariously Failed Attempts at Sexy Album Covers.” The result is both extremely funny and, at times, utterly grotesque [Madonna's "Hard Candy" album made it to the list]

> The 19 Most Hilariously Failed Attempts at Sexy Album Covers

By Nick Coffin | May 13, 2010

[From page 2]:

#4. Madonna - Hard Candy

Look, we think it's bullsh*t that the mass media has decided that women over 30 can't be attractive without extensive surgery. But Madonna was 49-freaking-years old when this picture was taken, and dammit, that is past the time when you should be shoving your lycra-covered crotch into the camera. There have to be more dignified ways to show off your mature sexuality. Your grandchildren should not have to see grandma spread-eagle in lace-up boots.

Slams / Put Downs

Slams and Put Downs> Madonna Flips Over Sunglasses Loss

May 22, 2010| THE glare from the sun at 2 am in London can be a bit much, can’t it Madonna?

We were out with the old bat when she sparked mayhem in exclusive hotspot Aura as she couldn’t find her sunglasses – even though it was pitch black out.

The creaky pop star stopped her huge bunch of burly bouncers from escorting her out of the club safely while she threw a hissy fit over her sunnies.

An onlooker said: “Security were freaking out because anyone could have just run out and grabbed her, but Madge wouldn’t budge.”

> Madonna Offers Dating Advice To Men! What's Next, Hannibal Lecter Cookbook

Excerpt:

By Robert Paul Reyes

Madonna advises men to let woman take charge - this coming from a woman who dates boys who look up to her as a mother figure.

> Joanna Newsom Has Harsh Words for Lady Gaga and Madonna

May 10th 2010, by Carter Maness

".... Smart outlets for musical journalism give her [Lady Gaga] all this credit, like she's the new Madonna ... Although I'm coming from a perspective of also thinking Madonna is not great at all. I'm like, fair enough: she is the new Madonna, but Madonna's a dumbass!"

.... As for Madonna, Newsom wasn't so quick to apologize. She felt bad for calling Madge a dumbass, but that's about as far as she's pulling back on her harsh criticism.

"I shouldn't have called Madonna a dumbass," continued Newsom. "Her music and she have just gotten so boring to me, this last decade. I think maybe she doesn't hold her money very gracefully, the way some people can't hold their drink. But one thing she is surely not is dumb."

Glee TV Show / Album

Glee Mostly negative review:

> Not Worth the Trip Back In Time

By Caitlin Geckeler

The popular TV show "Glee" has procured a large fan base with its musical addition to evening television, yet that popularity may have given them too much confidence in taking on a powerful music icon with their recent album release "The Power of Madonna," which just feels powerless.

Desperate (also known as the "Baby Jane" Category)

Desperate > Madonna's Filth and Wisdom, Too Much Botox and Plastic Surgery?

    They say dreams die hard, in Madonna’s case, she just can’t let go of the 90’s.

    Granted she does look great for her age but is it really necessary for her always to be half naked in every photo shoot? Still hanging on to yesterday, trying to look sexy with a crucifix in her mouth. It screams desperate.

    The Material Granny, opens up to Interview Magazine and flaunts her taunt body and plastic surgery. She talks about her new film, “Filth and Wisdom.”

Scroll down below to view "Answering the Apologists > Images Airbrushed?"

Madonna Beaten in Charts, etc | Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga(Scroll down for Lady Gaga content)

> Kathie Lee Gifford More Fabulous Than Madonna?

A new survey sponsored by Vichy Laboratories polled 686 women over 50 about their views on beauty.

When asked who they thought the most fabulous 50+ celebrity was, 46% chose Meryl Streep for the top spot.

Even more interesting -- Kathie Lee Gifford beat out both Madonna and Kim Cattrall for the #2 position.

> Sophia Loren, Catherine Deneuve, Helen Mirren Among Top 10 World's Sexiest Women

> Cheryl named world's sexiest woman

> Cheryl Cole world's sexiest woman

> Why Lady Gaga is musically better than Madonna

by John White

....Musically though, Lady Gaga has an edge [over Madonna]. Born Stefani Joanne Germanotta in 1986, New York, she learned piano at age 4, composed her first piano ballad at 13, performed open mic nights by 14, and at 17, gained early admission to the prestigious New York University Tisch School of Arts.

....Yet with her vibrant vocal talents and songwriting abilities she someday should surpass the accomplishments of Madonna. A risky prediction but Miss Germanotta has already shown her chops and they are formidable.

Perhaps a comparison to Elton John would be more in line. Both are admitted bisexuals, both can write their own songs and perform them, and both wear outrageous costumes on stage, John with his high heeled platform boots and elephant sized glasses, while Gaga wears outfits that look like they came off a Vegas billboard.

Yet both Lady Gaga and Elton John have that rare ability to hear that tune in their heads and put it down on paper, a talent Madonna doesn’t possess. And it’s that difference musically that separates the great from the good.

> Victoria Beckham: beats the likes of Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox and Madonna…

“World’s Most Glamorous and Enchanting Celebrity” the title was awarded to Victoria Beckham by the cosmetic giant Max Factor as she topped the poll conducted by them for the above mentioned honor.

Sources from MTV etc, informs that Dannii Minogue, judge of ‘X-Factor’ and the elder sister of Australian singing sensation Kyle Minogue came in a close second with Angelina Jolie coming as a poor third. Some other ladies of the glamour world who got in the list are Michelle Obama, actors Cameron Diaz, Keira Knightley, Kim Cattral and ‘American Idol’ star singer Leona Lewis.

> Victoria Beckham Named The World's Most Glamorous Celebrity

> Victoria Beckham voted 'World's Most Glamorous Celebrity'

> Dancing with the Stars 2010 cast: Team Gaga out cha chas Team Madonna (VIDEO)

> WATCH! Team Gaga Kicked Team Madonna’s Butt On ‘DWTS’ Last Night!

> 50 Most Popular Women On The Web - Lady Gaga Tops The List

> Lady Gaga rules the list of the top 50 women of the world

> Lady Gaga Most Popular Woman on Web

> 50 Most Popular Women on the Web: Lady Gaga at 1st

> 50 Most Popular Women on te Web, Per Google Search Results

Answering the Apologists | Airbrushed / Photoshopped - part 1

Answering Madonna Supporters

Madonna Photos: Air Brushed?

In the past week, a new photo shoot of Madonna for Interview magazine was released.

(Edit: scroll up this page to the "Madonna Airbrushed/ Photoshopped" section for more links about Madonna photos being photoshopped.)

Given that in the past few years, many 'before and after' photos of Madonna have been leaked online showing that air brushing was used, and that as recently two years ago, in the natural, Madonna looks rather haggard, why are so many British writers assuming that these new images for Interview did not utilize air brushing or photoshop?

Madonna's photos have been airbrushed before, including professional photoshoots from the past few years. See, for instance,

Madonna rolls back the years in new Louis Vuitton ad ... and even her fingers appear airbrushed

‘Before’ Photo Confirms Photoshop at Play in Madonna’s Louis Vuitton Campaign

Madonna Air Brushed Right Down to her Fingertips

What Madonna REALLY Looks Like Without The Smoke And Mirrors

The naked truth - Madonna without Photoshop

BEFORE AND AFTER?: Photoshop Is Madonna’s Best Frenemy

Madonna Unphotoshopped Pictures

Madonna's A Bit Touched [side by side before and after photoshopped Madonna image]

Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears & Madonna: Photoshopped To Perfection?

Put it away Madonna! Heavily airbrushed singer strikes raunchiest pose ever in latest Louis Vuitton ad

Madonna shills Adobe Photoshop Day Cream

Photoshop Day Cream: Madonna

Unflattering Pre-Photoshopped Pics Of Madonna Surface On Internet Blogs

New York Magazine was the first to post the before and after pictures of Madonna's Louis Vuitton campaign, showing the Material Girl looking quite her age before any photoshop tool worked it's magic. Apparently, the singer's youthful looks in the print ad campaign was not due to fortunate lighting and makeup, but an apparent facelift and a few botox injections.

Pixel Perfect

Dangin [professional air brusher] doesn’t always get his way.

“Have the airbrushing elves at Vanity Fair gotten a little too nip-and-tucky in their April cover story on Madonna?” the Hollywood blog Defamer asked last month, after the Daily Mail pointed out that Madonna’s normally chiselled upper arms had been rendered almost unrecognizably svelte.

I asked Dangin if the conspicuousness of the retouching was a failure on his part.

“It’s not a failure, because she was very happy with the way she looked, and the magazine loved it,” he said. “Would I have done less personally? Yes."

Examples of British authors who are declaring that the new Madonna photos for Interview magazine were not changed via air brushing or photoshop:

Madonna in Sexy Shoot Without Airbrushing

Madonna in sexy black and white shots proving age is just a number

Madonna's body of evidence for yoga and dieting

The authors of these articles want us to believe that the images were not air brushed or manipulated in any way, but they do not say how they know this. Did they contact the people at Interview magazine and ask them and confirm it?

What if there was air burshing involved and Madonna's lawyers and representatives told them to keep the air brushing confidential?

Some of these journalists are saying that because one can see the lines from Madonna's fishnet panty hose or underwear on her waist line and that no lines are visible on her face, that this is some kind of proof that the images were not altered.

I don't understand why these writers aren't aware of the fact that someone who is air brushing a photograph using Photoshop (or similar software) can limit where and how much an image is changed.

This means one can air brush, blur, or clone stamp out wrinkles, lines, and blemishes on someone's face without affecting lines appearing elsewhere.

Madonna photoHere on the left is one of the photos from the recent photo shoot (click it to view a larger version), and it's one that I've manipulated with imaging software to make a point.

The lesson you can take away from this image is that, using imaging software, one can apply filters, brush strokes, and other effects to one part of a photo without touching other parts, by using masks and other means.

If I was as dishonest (or as ignorant) as some of these British writers, I could point to that picture above left and say,

"This is not an airbrushed photo, because only her waist is green-colored, only her left arm has pink splotches, and only her chest has blue dots on it, while the rest of her body is not covered in green, pink splotches, or blue dots."

I hope in the days to come we see corrections by some in the British media, or that at least one of them questions if these really were completely untouched photos, instead of blindly stating, without solid evidence, that they're completely natural.

Looking Bad/ Cosmetic Surgery

Ugly> Gross Arm Photo, hosted on Holy Moly

Hat Tip Hat Tip to board member Super Amanda for this link:

> Linda Meredith tells us how to get perfect skin

Linda Meredith on her celebrity clients:
Madonna:
“She came to me for years before she went to Dr Brandt. Now her [Madonna's] face has collapsed. Instead of having a facelift, she's had fillers in her face. It makes big cheeks and the bottom half of the face is completely different, the angle's wrong. She hasn't had a facelift, she's had implants.”

We Hope It's True

Madonna's Bad Singing> Madonna says she has no record deal and can't release music

She [Madonna] tells the magazine:

“I don’t have a record deal right now with anybody. I don’t know how I’m going to get my music out the next time I make a record. I’m going to have to reinvent the wheel."

> Madonna 'quits music' saying she doesn't have the 'time or energy'

Madonna isn’t planning to pick up her microphone again any time soon, as the singer has said she’s putting her music career on hold.

Madge is focussing 100 per cent now on her film making career and has said her new movie W.E has taken over her life, leaving her no ‘time or energy’ to sing. Regarding her next album, she told the magazine: “I don’t have a record deal right now with anybody."

Savvy Business Woman?

Wouldn't a truly "savvy business woman" have plotted ahead of time for budget concerns, such as how much fancy, time period costumes would cost?

> Madonna daunted by movie costumes

She [Madonna] tells Interview magazine, "I didn't realise it when we were writing the script, but once I started casting and planning and working with my production designer, I went, 'Oh, f**k. I wrote a script about a bunch of rich people. That's going to be great for the budget.'

Sacrilegious

Christianity / Cross> Madonna Covers Interview Magazine -- Holding Crucifix

Madonna holds up a crucifix for the May 2010 double cover of Interview Magazine, on stands May 11.

> More photos here, including crucifix in thigh high hose, another image of her holding a knife in her mouth

APR 2010

Baby Stealing / Charity

Kid> Morgan 'Cynical' Over Madonna Charity

> Piers Morgan attacks Madonna and Cheryl Cole

Excerpts:

by Andrei Harmsworth
28th April, 2010

Piers Morgan has launched a scathing attack on Madonna and directed an annoying ‘I told you so’ at Cheryl Cole for marrying cheating Ashley Cole.

Morgan claims Madonna’s charity work in impoverished Malawi is nothing more than a charity stunt, saying: ‘I feel uncomfortable sometimes about the motives of celebrities and some charity work I see going on.'

'I regard anything Madonna does with deep cynicism. There are people out there who literally view charitable work from what I can see as a fashion accessory,' he told Recognise magazine.

....But turning his acid tongue back to Madonna’s camp, the 45-year-old also rants about the Queen of Pop’s best friend Rupert Everett for also exploiting charity.

Beaten in Non-Music Related Areas

Well, I guess this could be considered a music-related area, but TIME magazine seems to be citing Gaga's career and celebrity in general terms (i.e., her persona and fashions, etc., and not just her music).

(See also: scroll down this page to see the Lady Gaga section under April 2010)

> Lady GaGa named world's most influential artist by Time Magazine

> Lady Gaga Makes Time Magazine’s Most Influential People List

> Palin, Lady Gaga Among Time's Most Influential

Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn MonroeHat Tip Hat tip to board member Super Amanda for this link (and thanks to Ms. Burchill for mentioning the site):

> Why Celebs Want to be Monroe [By JULIE BURCHILL]

Excerpt:

Marilyn made it from nothing to the top of her cut-throat world with nothing but her beauty and talent to help her and in a time where true originality is in short supply, we respond to this. She [Marilyn Monroe] never "re-invented" herself; she was one of a kind.

Tributes have come from all over. Francois Mitterrand famously remarked that Mrs Thatcher had "the mouth of Marilyn Monroe and the eyes of Caligula".

The adopted Debbie Harry fantasised that Marilyn was her real mother. The hilarious anti-Madge website Madonna Blows Chunks lists numerous examples of imitation beyond the call of duty.

(I really need to update the "Rips Off" section of the site - and the rest of it, too. I always meant to but never got around to it.)

Looking Unattractive / Cosmetic Surgery

Ugly> Paulina Porizkova pans Heidi Montag, Madonna, Kate Hudson

> PORIZKOVA BLASTS MADONNA & HUDSON

> Paulina Porizkova takes on plastic surgery

On 51-year-old Madonna:

"Madonna no longer looks like Madonna: what started as a sexy, well shaped, and somewhat hairy Italian girl has ended as a cool Nordic blonde. It's not that she doesn't look great, she does. But she is starting to sort of melt away into the stew of the famous women over-fifty-high-cheek-boned blondes-who-cannot-frown."

> Sarah Jessica Parker: What's Up With Those Arms? Rivals Madonna's Body (PICTURES)

> Somewhat deformed-looking legs/feet in new photo

> Scroll to bottom of this page to see Scary Madonna Grandpa Hands

Answering the Apologists

Answering Madonna Supporters

> A Madonna fan, Jeremy Helligar, wrote a page (entitled "She Bends But She'll Never Break," hosted on 'True Slant') attempting to refute aspects of the article, "Growing Up Gaga," written by a Ms. Grigoriadis.

I responded to Mr. Helligar's work in the "Barfy, Butt-kissing Pieces" thread at the discussion board, if you'd like to read it.

The first part of my rebuttal is in a post time-stamped 'April 20, 2010' located here (scroll down page to get to the pertinent post), and the second portion of my rebuttal is located in the "Has Been" thread.

> I also responded to another pro-Madonna page by someone calling herself 'Miss Majek,' "Madonna the Aging Pop Star," in a post time-stamped 'Apr 14, 2010' in this thread (the "Feminism" thread) at the discussion board (scroll down page to arrive at pertinent post)

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga> Goldrapp: Lady GaGa is 'the new Madonna

Lady Gaga has been hailed ‘the new Madonna’ by Alison Goldfrapp, who crowned her the Queen of Pop.

> Lady Gaga 'Is The New Madonna,' Goldfrapp Says

> Goldfrapp: 'GaGa is the new Madonna'

Apr 29, 2010
By Robert Copsey
Alison Goldfrapp has claimed that that Lady GaGa is "the new Madonna".

The singer, who recently described her band as "pioneers" of the current electro-pop sound, admitted that GaGa's "extreme" style means she has now replaced Madonna as the Queen of Pop.

In an interview with Time Out, Goldfrapp said: "[GaGa's] definitely taken the crown as the Queen of Pop. She's the new Madonna, I think, because she's young. Madonna's wonderful, but she's done her thing."

> Lady GaGa named world's most influential artist by Time Magazine

> Lady Gaga Makes Time Magazine’s Most Influential People List

> Growing Up Gaga [page 2 of an 8 page article]

Excerpts:

By Vanessa Grigoriadis
Published Mar 28, 2010

Gaga’s presence also introduces the formerly unthinkable idea that Madonna, another voracious Italian girl, may really, truly, finally be on her way out.

....But the two [Madonna and Gaga] are very different: Madonna hasn’t had a sense of humor about herself since the nineties, where Gaga is all fun and play. At her core, she’s a young art-school student, full of optimism and kindness, childlike wonder at the bubble world.

....[from page 3] Like Madonna, she [Lady Gaga] had a powerful sexual charisma. But whereas Madonna had seemed to calculate every step, every coupling, every stylistic turn in her quest for stardom, Gaga’s story is partly one of youthful drift, waiting for lightning to strike, for the brilliant accident to happen. Gaga, though, had something Madonna didn’t have: a truly great voice.

Slams / Put Downs / Angry At

Slams and Put Downs> William Orbit found working with Madonna so “stressful” he took time out from his career.

> Joni Mitchell Calls Bob Dylan Fake, Madonna Shallow

> Joni Mitchell: "Madonna is like Nero"

Excerpts:

April 23 2010
Joni Mitchell has described Madonna as a turning point towards a more vapid culture in America.

The 'Blue' singer told the Los Angeles Times that her own work was set in opposition to the idiocy of how people live in the modern world.

Mitchell said: ...."Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980. Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point."

This "Gorillaz" guy seems kind of ticked off at Madonna:

> Madonna Kills Gorillaz 3D

[Said Damon Albarn, of Gorillaz:] “So Madonna manages to come and gate-crash our idea, as people like Madonna do, because that’s why they’re so deep. … She gate-crashed our idea, so we couldn’t play with any bass or any sound, because it would vibrate [the film] so it was really quiet.

> Madonna angers her New York neighbors

Excerpts:

Madonna has annoyed all of her neighbors!

The pop superstar, 51, is said to have angered residents in her exclusive New York neighborhood by ordering contractors to plant 500 green bushes around her property.

The locals are said to be furious about the number of “loud” and “messy” workers who have since flooded their quiet rural community to complete the work. “No-one cares about the shrubs, but the workers are another matter!” a source told Britain’s Star magazine.

'Glee' TV Show

GleeThe American television series "Glee" featured a Madonna-themed episode this month (April 2010). That is, several songs that have appeared on previous Madonna albums were performed on the show by the show's actors.

An album of the 'Glee' cast singing these songs was released, and reached #1 on Billboard. (See, for example: Glee Madonna album tops US chart or 'Glee' Madonna Tribute Defeats Justin Bieber)

While on the surface, this may seem like something for Madonna fans to be happy about, realize that most of the songs featured on 'Glee' were

› older songs (i.e. Like A Virgin, Express Yourself, Open Your Heart, Like A Prayer, Vogue);

› most (or all?) the songs on the Glee show and album were written not by Madonna, but by Billy Steinberg, Patrick Leonard, and others

As I've noted before on the discussion board, more recent work by Madonna (such as 'Hardy Candy,' 'Confessions on a Dance Floor,' etc.) elicits yawning, boredom, and disinterest by the American public, and American radio stations refuse to play this newer material.

I think the American public will probably always be nostalgic for Madonna's 1980s- to- early 1990s music, much as they are for Michael Jackson's music, even though he himself became a has-been in the United States. (After Jackson died, sales of his albums went through the roof.)

Anyway, not everyone was enthralled with the Madonna-themed Glee episode or album. Here are a few reviews of both:

> Madonna Vs Glee

Excerpt:

I’m not being anti-Glee today. I’m being anti-Madonna.
Actually, I’ll be more specific. I’m being anti-Madonna in things that don’t specifically involve her singing. Remove Madonna from her music and she destroys everything in her wake. It’s the truth. The woman’s got previous here. Don’t believe me? [The author goes on to cite several examples, e.g., Pierce Brosnan, Rupert Everett, Vanilla Ice, the television show Will And Grace.]

> 'Glee': How Much Madonna is Too Much Madonna?

Excerpt:

    Did I mention it's Madonna week? Madonna.

    [Critic] Meghan Brown (co-founder of the Giraffe Hunt Theater in Los Angeles):

    Not to be grumpy... but wasn't tonight's episode sort of pointless? Yeah, alterna-Finn is somehow in New Directions and there was some convoluted virginity triangle (which, incidentally, resulted in the night's best musical number), but overall the overhyped Madonna-centric episode seemed to exist without any narrative function whatsoever.

    A major contributing factor is the general uselessness of the musical numbers. Look, I get it. Musical numbers are fun! And they make Glee special.

    But there's got to be reasoning deeper than "the girls are sad 'cause boys are mean! MADONNA TIME!"

    Musical Theater is about elevated emotions. Characters sing because their feelings are too large, too bare, too explosive to be contained by speech alone. In a well-crafted musical the songs push the story forward. Tonight, I'd argue that the vast majority of the songs were in place so that there would be songs in place.

    I am also the only living person who doesn't like Madonna. So there.

> Madonna's albums discounted to take advantage of Glee tie-in

> 'Glee' cast plays it safe with Madonna album

by — Steve Johnson, Tribune Newspapers

Glee Cast, "Glee: The Music, The Power of Madonna"
★ ★ ([two] out of 4 [stars])

On this short record (Columbia), TV actors in their 20s playing characters in their teens take on the music of a woman who has been a chameleon. You might think something interesting would result from this concentration of artifice. You would be wrong.

Instead, the third record from the Fox TV series and the first devoted to a single artist plays like hyper-competent karaoke, if karaoke bars gave performers an Auto-Tune option.

> Madonna Offends The Gays, The Youngs By Dissing 'Glee'

> Sue Sylvester's 'Vogue' was 'butchered' according to Madonna (Video)

> Exclusive: Madonna Rates Glee's All-Madonna Episode: "Brilliant"

Glee > Madonna's Terrible Singing

Madonna's Bad Singing > CD Review: THE MUSIC OF GLEE - 'THE POWER OF MADONNA' E.P.

By CARL CORTEZ, Contributing Editor
Published 4/20/2010

Now, reviewing the disc, without seeing the show, can detract from the context and reasoning behind song selection, but here we go anyway.

One of the things that is most striking hearing the Glee performers tackle Madonna is it exposes what a thin-voiced singer Madonna actually is.

Granted, I think Madonna is a fine performer and a much better singer than some of these auto-tuned wannabe new generation singer chicks, but singing was never really Madonna’s strong-suit.

It was her image, the songs and how to make an impression – and she continues to do it year after year, decade after decade.

That said, Lea Michele literally tramples over Madonna’s original version of “Express Yourself” while Jane Lynch tackling “Vogue” sounds so pitch-perfect and accurate, it’s hard to tell it’s not Madonna on the track.

Beaten in Music-Related Areas

Record > Justin Bieber returns to No. 1 on Billboard 200, Madonna ['Sticky and Sweet'] start in top 10

Published on Wednesday, Apr 14, 2010
By Katie Hasty

Madonna rounds out the top tier with the arrival of “Sticky & Sweet Tour” at No. 10, moving 28,000, her third live release. This notches 19 top 10 albums for Madge, tying her for sixth place with Bob Dylan for the most 10s sold in the Billboard chart’s 54-year history. It’s a long road ahead for her, though: The Rolling Stones have 36, Sinatra has 33, the Beatles and Barbra have 30 and Elvis has 27.

Rips Off / Steals / Unoriginal

Madonna rips off other peopleAs I pointed out at the discussion board, many movie actresses from the 1940s to the 1960s wore bustiers, corsets, and other sorts of lingerie in movie roles and movie posters from those eras, so the whole "underwear as outwear" trend did not start in the 1980s with Madonna, nor did it start with a 1970s rock band, but I still can appreciate what Currie was saying in these recent interviews:

> Smelled Like Teen Spirit

By MICHAEL SMITH
Published: 4/9/2010

"All I know is we never got what we deserved, and I still remember when Madonna wore her corset (in the mid-1980s), and people were like, 'Omigosh, she's the first, she's iconic,' " Currie [of the 1970s all-female rock band The Runaways] recalled in a phone interview this week. "I'm just thinking, 'OK, you could have at least mentioned my name, Madonna. You know, shame on you.' I can't stand for people to take credit for things that they weren't the first to do."

> Cherie Currie wishes movie had told the whole story

Friday, April 09, 2010
By Scott Mervis, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The other obvious benefit of the movie is that it throws a spotlight on the Runaways, a largely overlooked band that has a strong argument for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame status. The singer agrees that the Runaways never got their due.

"Oh, never!" she says. "I'll never forget when Madonna came out wearing that corset and people were like, 'Oh my God, look at that!' I thought, 'Oh God, Madonna, can't you just say you knew I did it first?' I thought the Runaways always got brushed under the rug. The Go-Go's, at least they always gave us credit. I had just come to the place of it's never going to happen. Only a couple choice people knew what we did, but this is pretty neat. If it wasn't for this movie showing what we did, we would have been forgotten."

> Runaways' sex-bomb singer still loves rock 'n roll

by Constance Droganes
Mar. 21, 2010

Long before Madonna rocked the world in a bustier, Cheri Currie strapped on the lingerie and fronted the '70s all-girl band, The Runaways. Sex, drugs and fame nearly ruined Currie. But, with the right kind of girl power, she says, you can survive anything.

Tacky Fashion

Fashion > Madonna, You’re NOT At A Fashion Show! Take A Cue From The Missionary Masters, Brad & Angelina!

Doesn’t Madonna stick out like a sore (yet fashionable) thumb in a third-world country?

Madonna, we think it’s great that you’re making a special trip to Malawi to oversee the construction of a school you’re sponsoring… but I think people would take you a lot more seriously as a philanthropist if you dressed the part! You may be doing incredible charity work, but you look so silly pumping that water in your plaid diaper pants, combat boots and scarf.

I think the Material Mom should take a charity style lesson from the masters of do-goodery, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who are currently lending a hand to Bosnian refugees. Angie dresses down in a simple black dress underneath a black coat, while Brad looks even more easy-going in a white shirt and relaxed pair of jeans.

Hypocritical

Lourdes Leon Madonna's Kid > Sex-Selling Hypocrite: Madonna Protects Her Daughter After Decades of Selling Smut to Yours

by W T Huston

I guess as a youngster she was busy designing wacky, risque outfits when she should have been learning the definitions of words, but Madonna — the famed “Material Girl” — uttered a whopper recently misusing the word “irony” when she should have been using the word “hypocrite”… as in what she is.

....Of course the first thought that anyone has of pop singer Madonna is sex, sex, sex. She has made her entire career on selling her sexuality.

....But, suddenly mother Madonna is hopeful that her own 13-year-old daughter, Lourdes, will “dress more conservatively.” Sex is bad all of a sudden when Madonna is talking about her own child.

Madonna told the magazine Us Weekly that she wished her child would not emulate the sexually exploitive style she herself made her career on.

Madonna may be a style icon, but that doesn’t mean daughter Lourdes Leon, 13, takes her advice. “If anything, I wish she’d dress more conservatively,” says the pop star, 51. “How’s that for irony?”

No, Mz Madonna. How’s that for hypocrisy, not “irony.”

Like a true lefty, Madonna sees nothing wrong with exploiting her own sexuality and creating an empire that invites millions of pre-teen girls the world over to emulate her, yet when it is her daughter that wants to sex herself up, suddenly it’s “conservative” time for Mz Madonna!

This is a direct admission that she knows that what she has spent the last 40 years doing was illicit, wrong, and bad for kids. But, you see, when it’s her fans and her fans parents that are being harmed, Madonna doesn’t care. But should her own child start down that path it’s Katie bar the door and time to enroll the girl in a Nunnery. Suddenly Mz Madonna becomes all prudish and wants to prevent the sexual exploitation of her own daughter.

It isn’t “irony,” Mz Madonna. It’s hypocrisy that you wallow in.

MAR 2010

Bad Fashion / Old Lady

Fashion > Madonna is Sadly Too Old To Be Dressing Like Dennis the Menace: Even Yoga Can't Help You Now, Madge

Oh look, here’s Madonna wearing an eight-year old boy's Dennis the Menace costume. In public.

The lack-of Material Girl was on a night out with Jesus in New York, after watching ‘Fela!’ on Broadway.

Although we’re serious journalists, we can’t confirm whether she accidentally caught her dress on something or the snag holes are supposed to be super-cool.

And respect to Madge for doing all the exercise and that, but she look like a loose woman. Not in a sexual way – her skin is just a little saggy all over.

Hopefully Jesus can wash away her sins. Actually, do her greasy hair and sweaty face and while you’re at it.

Lady Gaga

Lady GagaPersonally, I don't care much for Lady Gaga or most of her music, but it's nice to see the media obsessing over her, rather than Madonna, as they did all during the '80s and into the '90s.

> Gaga is the Next Madonna [says] Director

> Madonna's music director goes gaga over Lady Gaga

> Gene Simmons Reckons [Lady] Gaga is Better Than Madonna

He says she’s the most exciting thing in a decade…
Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Kiss bassist and frontman Gene Simmons has been showing the love for Lady GaGa.

During a recent interview he said he’d take the Telephone singer [Lady Gaga] over Madonna any day. “We appreciate GaGa and everything.

"Anybody that gets visual on stage and is in your face, she's [Lady Gaga is] the most exciting thing I've seen in a decade.”

> Lady Gaga Steals Madonna's Crown

by Matthew Jenkin

She may dress like a hooker from space, but any doubts over Lady Gaga's right to the title Queen of Pop can be safely laid to rest now.

This week sees the electro dance diva top the singles chart once again with Telephone and her album The Fame is still defiantly hanging on to the top spot after a whopping 62 weeks in the charts.

Gaga has not only knocked Madonna's crown clean off her head, she's forcibly shoved the pop icon off the throne, screaming “move over Madge, there's a new bitch on the block.”

After a glorious reign of more than 30 years, it's the end of an era, but the sinewy man-eater [Madonna] has had her time and, let's face it, hasn't exactly fought a hard battle to keep her spot at the top.

Preoccupied with divorcing her Mockney hubbie, chasing Brazilian toy boys and shopping for babies in Third World countries, Madonna has taken her eyes away from the prize.

Having defined the rules of what makes a modern pop royal, the Material Girl really should have seen this coming.

But I'm saving up my crocodile tears for another day, because on closer examination Lady Gaga is a more than acceptable replacement for the bolshy diva.

> Gaga Rules, Madonna Drools

Conventional wisdom says that all gay men (of a certain age) love Madonna.

But to us queer contrarians, Madge has offered many years of addictive fun snickering at her flimsy image changes, atrocious dance skills, and reedy, studio-sweetened voice.

Yes, I admire her business savvy. But Martha Stewart’s a master of marketing, too, and who wants to dance to her cinnamon nutloaf recipe? As the great Fran Lebowitz once observed, Madonna albums should come with a nutritional warning label that reads: “Talent Free.”

It’s still very early in her career, but 24 year old Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta aka Lady Gaga is shaping up to be the imaginative and talented powerhouse that Madonna thinks she sees in her gym mirror.

Gaga owes a lot to Madonna, I suppose, but then Madonna owes a helluva lot to new wave siren Debbie Harry and that debt has largely been forgotten if not forgiven. (Hey, Kabbalah Queen – why didn’t you inherit Harry’s sly sense of humor, too?).

Besides possessing a strong theatrical voice and a shark-like instinct for writing cynical love songs, Gaga has a trashy, blood-soaked sense of high concept camp that is its own worldview. (Call her the love child of Freddie Mercury and Gene Simmons).

....Here’s a gay icon I can bow down to.

Egotistical / Rude

> Madonna's Vodka Temper Tantrum at Elton John's After Party

> Madonna `threw strop` when LA bar failed to have favourite vodka

> Madonna Pouts Over Vodka at Oscars Party

by Elizabeth Fairview  |  March 8th, 2010

If the reports are true, Madonna acted like a spoiled jackass at Elton John's Oscar party.

According to Perez Hilton, Madonna flipped her sh*t during Elton John's pre-Oscars party because they didn't serve Belvadere vodka. The party, sponsored by Grey Goose vodka, prompted Madonna to openly flip out, then pout because they didn't serve their competitor's brand. 

Apparently, some poor bastard waiting tables had to break the news to the giant baby. After losing her cool, she then ordered a virgin mojito and proceeded to sulk.

A source told Perez Hilton: "It was left to one rather nervous waiter to tell her only Grey Goose was available and when he did all hell broke loose. Madonna was dropping F-bombs like they were going out of fashion. Fortunately Guy [Oseary] was able to calm her down.

But she sulked about the vodka and ordered a non-alcoholic virgin mojito instead. She was clearly up for a drink, but wasn't prepared to compromise on her vodka choice."

Pfft. Why "fortunately" that Oseary was on-hand to kiss her royal ass and cater to her terrible behavior? She should have just been left her pout in the corner like an idiot.

Slams and Insults

Slams and Put Downs> Is Madonna Insufferable? Ex Best Pal Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks So

> Gwyneth's Workout Fallout With Madonna

> Gwyneth Ain't Your Pal, Madonna

FEB 2010

Madonna Forces Malawian Villagers To Move From Homes Against Their Wishes

Kid> Madonna's new Malawi school drives villagers off their lands

> Madonna Wants to Help Malawi by Evicting 200 of Its Residents

> Madonna's Malawi school forced villagers to relocate

> Madonna to pay 70000 in compensation after Malawi school build

> Madonna's school forces 200 villagers to move

> Madonna's School Displaces 200 Villagers

> Madonna: Do-Gooder or Home-Wrecker?

> Malawi villagers refuse to leave to make way for Madonna's new girls school

BY Joe Dziemianowicz
February 12th 2010
Madonna is causing a commotion in Southeast Africa.

Villagers in Malawi are being uprooted to make way for the $15 million girls school the Material Mom is building there.

Some 200 residents near the capital city of Lilongwe were told by the government of Malawi that they will have to relocate to accommodate her Madgesty's school.

But people living on the proposed school site don't want to leave, despite pledges that the institution will help their children.

> Madonna's Malawi school plan sparks furor

> Madonna's Malawi school displaces people

Egotistical

> Jacobs To Snub Stars At Future Fashion Shows

[Said Jacobs, fashion designer:] "And one was Madonna. She came backstage, and I was like, 'What do you do with her now?' Because it's not like she was invited. She just called and said she was coming, and we weren't holding the show for her. She just came, and that was it. There are certain things I can't control."

Charity Work in Brazil Investigated

money > Brazil's Bloggers Follow The Money: Madonna's 'Favela Fund' Linked to Kabbalah Centre

Excerpts:

Failure of the Success for Kids program to fulfill requests for substantive details for their "pilot project" involving a radical educational methodology called Social Emotional Learning (SEL) comes at a bad time for Madonna, who has raised about $8 million dollars for the scheme and has a high dollar concert series set for Rio later this year.

....But beyond the high priced photo op, Folha blogger Monica Bergamo wondered what bang Big Beer Brazil is getting for its bucks.

"What account was the check deposited into," Bergamo blogged. "How will the money be used? Who will benefit." Other online media in Brazil got on the follow the money story, which has also gone viral in Europe.

....Madonna has also been noticeably silent. In spite of her fund raising on behalf of the favela program a visit to the SFK Brazil website provides no evidence of her participation in the leadership group. She is mentioned as a supporter one time in a short newsletter item. The most prominent icon on the Brazil SFK site is the "donate" button.

....Bergamo's problems getting information from SFK confirm the disclosure problems revealed by the BBC's benchmark reporting a few years ago.

In an investigative article, BBC reported that Israeli authorities refused to give the charity a certificate of proper management for three years running due to accounting inadequacies.

Looking Bad / Unattractive

Ugly> Veiny Forearm Photo (Photo hosted on this page)

> Veiny Hands (also hosted on fan site here)

> Nasty Veiny Arms

> Lying Brazilian Politician Lies About Madonna's "Good Looks"

Excerpt:

By Robert Paul Reyes

[snip fawning praise given to Madonna by a politician in Brazil]

Give me a break! Even with Madonna's crazy workout schedule, and endless plastic surgery, she still looks like an old lady who's having a bad blue-hair day.

If Madonna weren't a gazillionaire Serra would have told his aides: Get that old lady out of here, and bring in some hot Brazilian Carnival revelers.

Photoshopped (or, Looking Bad / Unattractive Part 2)

Ugly > Unflattering Pre-Photoshopped Pics Of Madonna Surface On Internet Blogs

by Joanna Mazewski - Celebrity News Service Editor
New York, NY, United States (CNS) - Well, someone from Madonna's camp is about to get pink-slipped. Not that it's the first time that it's happened, but unflattering pics of the Queen of Pop have surfaced once again on internet blogs making the diva look a bit worse for wear.

New York Magazine was the first to post the before and after pictures of Madonna's Louis Vuitton campaign, showing the Material Girl looking quite her age before any photoshop tool worked it's magic. Apparently, the singer's youthful looks in the print ad campaign was not due to fortunate lighting and makeup, but an apparent facelift and a few botox injections.

This is not the first time Madonna's team has hung their head from the embarrassment of leaked before-and-after photos. Last year, promotional pics from her Hard Candy album showed a tired and haggard looking Madonna while untouched stills from her steamy W photoshoot with Brazilian boy toy Jesus Luz showed the singer looking more like a wine boozing step-mom rather than a sexy cougar on the prowl.

> Madonna is a natural beauty

• View Madonna Photos, before and after being retouched

Another photo of an unretouched Madonna has surfaced again. This time it’s from Madonna’s Louis Vuitton campaign from 2009. You can tell Photoshop played a big role in the finished photo due to the smooth, airbrushed skin and the fact that you aren’t grossed the hell out.

Whoever is leaking these “before” photos must have it out for Madonna. Just two weeks ago another unretouched photo was leaked. That one a little more gross than this one.

Last year, a set of unretouched photos from Madonna’s Hard Candy shoot were also leaked. Lawyers told me to take those down early last year. Probably because they couldn’t stand the sight of a natural Madonna either.

Why anyone would even ask Madonna to model for them is beyond me. With the amount of hours you spend in Photoshop airbrushing away her wrinkled skin and veiny arms, you could dig up a corpse and do the same thing for cheaper.

It’d be less bitchy too.

Or you could shoot Jessica Alba because the finished product looks nothing like Madonna anyway.

> Madonna Pre-Photoshopped Louis Vuitton Ad

I am all for the grace of women with age and experience being the face of fashion and beauty campaigns. However, this Louis Vuitton ad before the magic of photoshop was something that nightmares are made of.

Of course this isn’t the first time we have seen Madge’s Thundercats scary arms in their un-photoshopped glory. Images from her Hard Candy album, W magazine shoot and various other images are lurking all over the net.

After the first leak of the pre-airbrushed images Madonna was reportedly furious. No one wants to age let alone have their insecurities spread over the net. So the question as to who is pumping these images out into the world is now being asked. To me the real question should be WTF is on her head?

> Unretouched Madonna Pics Leaked, Turns Out She's Not Immune to Aging After All

Slams and Insults

Slams and Put Downs> Marc Jacobs Disses Madonna

> Marc Jacob Doesn't Want Madonna At His Shows

> Marc Jacobs Won’t Have Celebrities at His Show This Season Because They’re ‘Boring’

> Designer Marc Jacobs turns his back on celebrities

> Jacobs To Snub Stars At Future Fashion Shows

Beaten In Polls/Charts, Music Related Areas

Record> Olivia Newton-John's "Physical" sexiest song ever

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Move aside Madonna and watch out Barry White.

The winner of the sexiest song of all time is -- Olivia Newton-John with "Physical," according to music publication Billboard.

> Lady Gaga's Poker Face most downloaded track in UK

Nov 2009
London, (ANI): Pop sensation Lady Gaga's hit track Poker Face has become the most downloaded song in the five-year history of the Official UK Downloads Chart. The singer's another hit 'Just Dance' is also said to be at No3 in the list.

> U2 Beat Springsteen, Madonna to Biggest Earning Act in the U.S. in 2009

> U2 Easily Tops 2009 Money-Making Tours List in the U.S.

> U2 are music industry's top money makers

> U2 Rocking Top Money Maker List

> U2 biggest earning act of 2009 in US

> U2 Leads Money Makers List With $108M Earned

> AC/DC, METALLICA And KISS Among BILLBOARD's Top 'Money Makers' - Feb. 26, 2010

> U2 tops Billboard Money Makers list

> U2 CROWNED INDUSTRY'S TOP MONEY MAKERS

Irish superstars U2 have been crowned the music industry's cash kings after raking in more than $108 million (£67.5 million) in 2009.

The band's 360 world tour has boosted their earnings for the past year, placing them atop Billboard magazine's 2010 Money Makers list.

Beaten In Polls/Charts/Icon Status, Non-Music Areas

FashionHat tip to board member Anshirk for this first link:

> Madonna Vs Michelle: Cougar Alert

Aug 2007 (Poll Results):

Who would you rather?
Michelle 89%
Madonna 11%
Total Votes: 86,187

Madonna was declared the loser in this feature:

> Who Wore It Best?

Madonna vs. Hayden Panettiere
You’d never imagine that these two would be wearing the same little black dress. In this case the Heroes star upstages the red carpet vet.

Madge has complicated the look by adding thigh-high boots, a leather jacket, fingerless fishnet gloves… too much!

Hayden wins with a simple, loose updo, and glowy makeup. Her black strappy sandals and onyx ring are the perfect complement.

> Lady Gaga tops fashion 'buzzword' list

Feb 4, 2010
Singing fashion phenomenon Lady Gaga is the number one 'buzzword' in fashion right now, according to the Global Language Monitor, whose team asked fashion experts around the world to nominate their top buzz phrases of the moment.

According to Millie L. Payack, director and fashion correspondent of GLM, it is the first time a name has topped the annual list.

Here are the 15 top-ranking buzzwords in the fashion media sphere right now:

1. Lady Gaga - "Enigmatic performance artist has had outsized impact on the world of fashion."

> Christopher Brooke: Dressing Michelle Obama Is Better Than Dressing Madonna

> Dressing Michelle Obama Is Better Than Dressing Madonna

Christopher Brooke of Basso & Brooke, on dressing Michelle Obama for a private event at the White House: "You can't bribe that kind of lady to wear your clothing. Once we dressed her it was like an international advertising campaign. That's kind of the pinnacle; dressing Madonna wouldn't even be on that level."

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga> Monsters Inc.? The Lady Gaga And Madonna Parade

by Elizabeth Scalia
Feb 1, 2010

.... Nearly 30 years ago, we were told that Madonna was a "genius," particularly at marketing and reinventing herself, but time has not borne that out.

Her music has held up well, but Madonna herself has been a dead-bore for decades, largely because her marketing and reinventing always come down to sex. But sex — thanks in part to Madonna, herself — has long ceased to be a daring or provocative subject.

....Gaga will have to work on that if she is to sustain her hold on the public's imagination. Madonna could find no road back from the Land of Saturated Sex; if she had something interesting to say about post-menopausal sex, or how diminishing sex drives open other paths to fulfillment, she might be able to find resolution to her early ideas. But she [Madonna] seems uninterested in going there, and so we are forced to page past her yearly airbrushed crotch-shots as she beats a sad and worn-out theme to death.

....Lady Gaga is a good musician, therefore she understands the need for resolution. That may help her to move beyond the initial monster call-out.

If she cannot, she will fall as quickly as she has risen, having unleashed onto a generation an idea that, like Madonna’s mindless sex fest, is ultimately empty, bleak and unhelpful.

> Lady GaGa to play Madonna in new movie

by Randy Aaron
Lady GaGa has been compared to Madonna a lot (even though she's much better)....

> Lady Gaga: The New Madonna

By Jennifer Dunkerley
23 Feb 2010
MOVE over Madonna, Lady GaGa is ready to be crowned the new Queen Of Pop.

> Lady Gaga tops fashion 'buzzword' list

> Lady Gaga's Poker Face most downloaded track in UK

JAN 2010

Beaten in Non-Music Areas

> Gisele Bundchen tops Angelina Jolie, Madonna for Haitian relief donation

Jan. 15, 2010
Gisele Bündchen donated a hefty 1.5 million to Red Cross for relief for Haiti's earthquake vicitms this week.

That tops Angelina Jolie's reported $1 million that she's donating to Doctors Without Borders.

And in a statement released Friday (Jan. 15), Madonna pledged $250,000 toward relief efforts being made by Partners in Health, one of Haiti's leading health-care providers.

Looking Old or Ugly

Ugly> Hideous Madonna Photo (same photo hosted here)

> How Old Is Madonna?

> Jesus Luz's penis and Madonna's face

I couldn’t think up of a better title because I was beyond disturbed when I saw these photos. There was actually an intense debate taking place in my head over whether or not to post these. But I figured, if I suffer, you must all suffer.

I mean, a Brazilian’s penis and Madonna’s haggard face isn’t something I wanted to wake up to in the morning, but here these things are, in all their glory. I had to put ice down my pants because this was so hot. It’s like two of my most favorite things in life have come together into one awesome picture. Only if a Mickey Rourke/Shauna Sand sex tape were released could this day get any better. Knowing this, if you need me, I’ll be in the shower trying to wash myself clean with a metal scrubber.

The photo is supposedly an outtake from when Madonna and Jesus Luz did their W Magazine shoot and clearly shows why Photoshop was invented. Very NSFW gallery starts here. So fake or real? Also, can you stare at this for more than 10 seconds without feeling a wave of terror pass over you?

> Outtake Reveals Madonna Is as Old as Her Boyfriend is Naked -Not Safe For Work; (full frontal male nudity)

Truthfully, the most shocking thing in this image is Madona’s untouched up face-- very gollum, like 30 Rock says.

> Click here to view image (SAFE for work; nudity censored)

> Jesus Luz Isn't Packin' - Photo

> Outtakes From Madonna’s W Magazine Photo Shoot Reveal The Truth (photos)

New un-altered outtakes from the W magazine photo shoot in which Madonna met her baby Jesus have just surfaced and they’re not all too flattering to either the material girl or her new boy toy.

Madge is definitely looking every millisecond of her 51 years in this shot, sporting whiskers and an old lady scowl that would make a nun proud. Moreover, where’s her neck?

Did it collapse under the weight of her giant noggin?

Plus, I’m not sure if the whole Joan Crawford thing she’s got going on here is intentional or not, but either way the only thing her mug could inspire these days is major shrinkage and speaking of shrinkage…apparently this kid’s named baby Jesus for a reason.

Now I know she’s 51 years old and everyone inevitably succumbs to the ravages of aging, but she continues to strut her brittle hollow bones around as if she’s still the sex bomb and at this point it’s more than a tad revolting. In general, there’s just something obscene about all these comically airbrushed images of older female celebrities we’re bombarded with on a daily basis.

In an attempt to extend their careers and remain relevant to younger audiences, these women hide their true appearance with massive amounts of plastic surgery, pancake make-up and Photoshop.

Of course, it’s always been that way to an extent, but nowadays it’s past the point of ridiculousness. I mean back in the day, the older gals of Hollywood didn’t waste their time competing with kids about who’s got the tightest ass. No way man, they were playing dowdy mothers on sitcoms or maybe starring in the occasional Love Boat!

I’m not saying that people should just give up on trying to look their best when they get older, but all the Pilates in the world ain’t gonna turn back the clock.

At some point you’ve got to accept the fact that you’re getting old.

Some people try to rationalize their fixation on youth and looking younger as some kind of empowering thing, that’s how that whole “cougar” movement began, as a way of saying “hey I’m a fossil, but I’m still sexual, and powerful and attractive.”

Well hell, I agree, why throw in the towel if you’ve still got game? But is it necessary to physically change your appearance through surgery and smoke and mirrors in order to do so? On top of all of this, I’m sick and tired of watching all these aging women play out their insecurities in the public eye.

Everyone’s insecure - keep it to yourself already! As far as I’m concerned, this whole cougar movement in Hollywood is simply being used as a way of extending people’s careers which have already taken up entirely too much of our time.

Courtney Cox? Are you kidding me? Haven’t we had enough of her? Do you mean to tell me 10 years of her on “Friends” wasn’t enough for you?

Now I know many women might say that it’s MEN who are the ones responsible for these women altering their faces and bodies, that they feel pressure to change their appearance in order to be able to work or even attract a partner, but I disagree - these women are getting off on it.

It’s not about the men, it’s about THEM. The sad truth is, all of that plastic surgery doesn’t make any of them look better, just different and in most cases just… odd.

As I was watching the Golden Globes the other day, it was like looking at Madame Tussauds wax museum.

We’re all busy dying people, and everyone winds up looking like a raisin (if they’re lucky that is), it’s all part of being human. To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season and a time to accept your sagging ass.

'American Life' Voted Worst Record of the Decade

> Madonna gets WORST album of the decade honor. See the list here

by Aaron Gifford
Jan 11, 2010

Mark Prindle absolutely nailed it in his interview on Fox News. Madonna's "American Life" easily sailed to victory as the biggest piece of crap recorded in the past 10 years.

"This was her first album since 9/11 and she was so affected by the tragedy that she wrote a huge long album about how hard it is to be a celebrity," Prindle quipped.

Has Been, Irrelevant

> The New York Times is Not Amused by Jesus (Luz)

Meanwhile, has anybody ever cared less about a Madonna boyfriend? No. Maybe it's a sign of the times, how we've grown with Madge, how Madge just can't buy/fondle up some excitement like she used to, or how we just have better things to give a sh** about these days. Or maybe it's just a sign that—predictably—Jesus is just like every other model/DJ in New York City: meh

Beaten in Music Related Areas

Record Album > 'DWTS' star Joanna Krupa beats Madonna and Gaga at their own game

January 14, 2010

Joanna Krupa is a woman of many talents.

Model. Dancer. Animal activist. Singer. Yes, singer.

Krupa and classical singer (and friend of the site) Manon teamed up on the dance hit "I'll Be Around" which vaulted past Madonna and Lady Gaga on the dance charts.

> Ke$ha Makes Digital Sales History as “TiK ToK” Explodes

> Ke$ha sets a new chart record in advance of her debut

> Ke$ha Sets Records With "TiK ToK" With 610069 Downloads

> Kesha breaks weekly download record with single 'Tik Tok'

> Ke$ha Sets Digital Sales Record

> Ke$ha sets female download record in U.S.

Reuters, Dec 31, 2009 1:00 am PST
In what is traditionally a high-volume download week thanks to shiny new MP3 players under the tree and download cards stuffed in stockings, a digital sales mark has fallen by the wayside.

Rookie pop singer Ke$ha's "TiK ToK" shifted 610,000 digital tracks for the week ending December 27, according to Nielsen SoundScan. That's the highest weekly sum by a female artist since tracking began in 2003, and the second-best overall after Flo Rida's "Right Round" sold 636,000 this past February. Coincidentally, Ke$ha was an uncredited singer on the track.

"TiK ToK" eclipsed the female mark set by Lady Gaga with "Just Dance" exactly a year ago.

Ke$ha's hefty download sum will ensure "TiK ToK's" place atop the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart for a second week when that chart is released Thursday. The song previews her debut album "Animal," which is set to hit stores on January 5.